The hunter stalks his prey through the seemingly endless jungle. He can hear the tell-tale pounding drums of his target. He spots a rustle in the bushes ahead. Oh, yes...he has found what he was looking for. A warning light flashing on his helmet's built in macrobinoculars - low battery. An ordinary man might be anxious, but not this man. For this is the feared bounty hunter, Boba Fett. Still, right now he needs power, power he can get from the Energizer battery on the back of his latest prey, the Energizer Bunny. But he can't help but feel that someone else is on the bunny's trail...
Suddenly, he spots a triad of red dots zeroing in on the Bunny's head. His years of training let him quickly trace the source of the targeting beam high in the trees. Fett lets fly his grappling hook, snaring his unseen enemy and bringing it crashing to the ground. His adversary emits a low gutteral snarl as it rises to its feet, a small cut oozing flourescant green blood. The Predator towers over Fett, glowering at this little man who would interfere with its hunt.
"The bunny's worth more to me alive." states Fett, unmoved.
The Predator pulls a razor sharp disc from its belt and growls menacingly. This is a species that dares hunt even the dreaded Alien with only the ritual weaponry dictated by their strict code of honor. Now that code demands that this interloper will be the source of a new hunt. Pressing a stud on his gauntlet, the Predator suddenly shifts into camoflauge mode and moves away, giving his prey the requisite head start.
Fett registers the Predator's intentions. With quick, efficient movements the deadly assassin swaps in his remaining power pack, unlocks the safety on his blaster, and heads off into the jungle to do battle. The Energizer bunny, its ears straight up in the air in alarm, just keeps on going and going through the underbrush, its life spared again today...barely.
So, Dave, does the sly Star Wars stalker slaughter the silent slayer or will the prowling Predator put away this pre-eminant pursuer of pink power peddlers?
DAVE: Well, Joe, in the world of hunters, the Predator is by definition an amateur while Boba Fett as we all know is a professional. As such, Fett is used to dealing with a higher class of opposition - Jedi Knights, combat droids, Dark Lords of the Sith, and other bad dudes that know how to go the distance. Remember when Luke fell down the air shaft in the Cloud City, then fell some more, then fell out of the bottom of the city and wound up upside down on a TV antenna with his hand cut off? What did he do? He tried to climb back up the antenna to get back inside and fight some more. That kind of stuff happens all the time in Star Wars. By way of contrast, when the Predator sees Arnold look at him crosseyed he starts typing in the self-destruct codes.
Speaking of the eyes, I think Pred needs to check in with the optometrist. What kind of fool has thermal vision, but no regular vision? He's sure going to have trouble seeing Boba Fett, because that Mandalorian Shock Armor looks pretty cool to me. Now, don't go telling me about how Predators fight Aliens and all that - the first Alien was scary, but since then I see those things get mowed down in baker's dozens, by Winona Rider no less.
In the end, the Predator is like Van Damme's Belgian accent - always needing an excuse. I give this one to Boba Fett.
JOE: Dave, I find it extremely amusing that you qualify Boba Fett's skill by using the example of how Luke Skywalker got his hand cut off. Talking about somebody else from Star Wars was an absolutely ingenuous way of dodging the real question.
To dispute another point, he himself only had thermal vision, which is very useful for tracking down any living thing (thats why the army uses them - hint, hint), but his helmet had several different types of vision as shown in the meat freezer in Predator 2. And how can you say that having the skull of an ALIEN is not that big of a deal. These things have ACID FOR BLOOD.; How exactly do you think he managed to remove the skull from the rest of the body? Point #2: The only time the Aliens were EVER mowed down like Tim Allen's lawn was when they were up against an elite team of Marines and even then only one survived (this, of course, was due to the fact that he was Michael Biehn who is arguably the coolest person on the planet). And, as more of a side note: Winona Ryder kicks ass! And, although she technically did not kill any Aliens, I truly believe that she could without even messing up that cute little hair-do.
Each of these guys have been in two movies. Lets analyze their performance shall we?
Consensus: Boba Fett - no matter how cool his outfit - is a pansy and the Predator will have a shiny new Mandalorian skull next to his shinier, newer, pinker, bunnier one.
DAVE: Whatever. I thought you were doing pretty well there, what with having correctly counted the number of movies both characters have been in and all. But let's go back over your numbers:
Boba Fett: defeated once in two movies
Predator: defeated twice in two movies
Therefore, the man with the funky spaceship is batting .500 whereas the rubber suited wonder is 0 for 2. Looks like our man Boba Fett is quite the slugger compared to the Predator.
While we're on the subject of movies, let's try a little experiment. Get $7.50 and put it in front of you. This represents the typical price of a first-run movie. Now say out loud: "Star Wars Episode 2" (the one that's supposed to have Boba Fett). Now say out loud: "Predator 3". Did the cost of admission go up or down? I thought so.
But I digress. Let's talk about how our intrepid hunters were defeated.
Boba Fett: Defeated by combined forces of Jedi Knight, Indiana Jones, massive enraged Wookiee and smooth talking con-man turned Death Star eviscerating space jockey.
Predator: Defeated once by "Jingle All The Way" costar. Defeated again by "Gone Fishin'" costar.
Finally, let's go into the characters' backgrounds. Boba Fett is played by none other than a British Actor. This is of course a nod to the two great Traditions of British Acting - spies and sociopaths. Boba Fett is like Malcolm McDowell as James Bond, only with more gadgets than the whole Q Division combined. This is not a man you want to see coming the other way down the sidewalk. The Predator on the other hand is just your average movie monster - pretty scary until you get a good look at him and see the zipper in the back of the rubber suit. And don't talk to me about the Predator's flying discs - I already covered the inherent lameness of frisbee weapons in Conan versus Xena. Don't let yourself make the same mistakes as Paul Golba - he's never been the same since that Crushing Loss.
And just in case you have any doubt left of Boba Fett's superiority, remember that he is twice blessed with the power of Digital Remastering as seen in the Star Wars Special Edition. In other words he can not only erase his defeat at the Sarlacc Pit as easily as the ink on Larry King's marriage license, he can just as easily put the Predator in the scene instead. Not nice at all.
So, Joe, it looks like Boba Fett's got every base covered. I think it's time for the Predator to start remembering the PIN number on his self-destruct system...
JOE: Dave, lets face it: Boba Fett was defeated because he couldn't duck his own laser bolt - probably had something to do with extreme lack of mobility due to a 160 lbs of metal armor. Also, who cares if the guy is British - the Spice Girls are British that certainly didn't help them any.
And let us talk about Boba Fett's gadgets. In the movies he used:
Hmmmm...Well, what did the Predator use?
I think I we can all see who came more prepared to this matchup. Now, I admit the Razor Disc wasn't nearly as cool when used as a boomerang than when he was using as a melee weapon. And its not like he is gonna have a hard time chasing down the heavily encumbered Boba Fett and using it to slice chunks of his flesh off.
I heard there was gonna be a bunch of those Mandalorian shock troops in the new trilogy - sounds like they are gonna be a replacement for the Stormtroopers. Does the term Red-Shirted Ensign ring any bells? Even if Boba Fett gets a bigger part in the new movies there is no way he could EVER take the Predator.
Here's the way I see it: The Predator sneaks up undetected right in front of Boba Fett with his suit. He pins poor Fett to a tree using the net gun, removes his armor with the Razor Disk. He then rams his claws through Boba Fett's torso and rips out his heart Temple of Doom style. Finally, he removes Boba Fett's skull from the rest of his body. However, because the kill was so easy - he discards the skull and goes after the real target: the Energizer Bunny.
Just as a side note: I would be willing to spend $7.50 to see Predator 3 on opening day - and I would have to deal with a lot less freakin' retards dressed as Wookiees.
We would also like to thank D.G. Requiem for pointing out that this match-up was also featured in the Sci-Fi Invasion 1997 special magazine.
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In the Predator movies, though, no Predator- no movie. The Pred pops mercs like zits, redecorates warehouses in innards, and has extra bonus points for being fuglier than Arnold.
Go to the IMDB, look at the credits for Empire. Boba Fett is listed above three people: Lobot (?), Captain Ugnaugt, and the Snow Creature. That's right, the Snow Creature.
Predators have star power. Boba Fett coulda been written out of the script in 20 minutes.
Predator for President!
"Why is this important?" you ask. Simple: this isn't just another bunny-hunt for the big P; he is, in fact, hunting up a gift for his boyfriend back on the homeworld, and he knows that, if he loses, not only will he have to face the wrath of his peers for losing to BF (official weapon: the BFG), he'll get smacked like a bitch for not bringing back the present he promised G'raarrggh or whoever.
Now, keeping in mind that our Predator is, in fact, the bitch in his relationship, if he should be so unlucky as to actually get *killed* by Boba (and what the hell kind of a name is "Boba," anyway? Aren't those the things that form under your pits when you get the Black Plague? Minus several points immediately for having a goofy name), his boyfriend is going to come looking for the Fett with blood in his eye and a huge case of sexual frustration, not to mention the huge case of Whoop-Ass(TM) he'll have for our intrepid bunny-baiting bounty hunter, who will, by the way, still be all shagged out from fighting the first Predator, not to mention the fact that all his toys will be broken already, whereas the bigger, badder Predator will be in perfect fighting shape WITH all his weaponry.
(Pause for a deep breath.)
So, even if Boba Fett wins, he still loses.
- Bozo the Clone
Okay, so maybe my reaction to Boba Fett is a holdover from childhood trauma, but still, Boba Fett's a wuss. If you want a real match, put the Predator up against a pack of velociraptors, or the Terminator-2000, or some Jem-Haddar, or even Matlock, for chrissake.
Here's an interesting essay as to why the Predator got ripped off.
Hey, Pred--if you ever get the inkling to waste Captain Kirk, Doctor Who, or Babylon 5, I'm behind you, man.
- Jim Smith
Who does Boba Fett work for?
Jaba the Hutt.
What does Jaba do?
He makes money and dresses Leia in gold bikinis.
Obviously, this is a choice between watching Al Gore run against Dan Quayle in 2 years (picture Wile E. Coyote vs. Wile E. Coyote), or watching Chicks in Chains. As a hostage to my gonads, I must choose Boba Fett.
(In fact, Amnesty international is holding a benefit for all the hostages of my gonads called: Mike's Gonads, Let America Go! Sting is scheduled to perform.)
- Michael Leung
I pity the foo's!
- Steven "Both Mangled And Killed" Pratt
We all know what happens when you put 3,141,592 yuppie hunters in the woods with one mule dear don't you? (And trust me, the Predators are yuppies. Look closely at the spaceship at the beginning of the first movie and can see the BMW logo...) The bloody Predators aren't even wearing neon vests....
Results: 3,141,593 dead Predators (they got the game warden too), 2,718,282 fried environmentalists (they were chained to the trees), atomized Bunny and Boba, and a giant field of charred smoking stumps and craters where once there stood a pristine, unspoiled, forest.
It was worth it to get the Bunny.
Now for something completely different...
Brendan, I have some good news and bad news. The Good News(tm): The Chihuahuas OD'd on the Whoop-Ass(tm) and RAGE(tm). The Bad News(tm): I am now taking the pills AND Cans of Whoop-Ass(tm) to slaughter you in the aforementioned Grudge Match.
- Devin The Mental Hospital Escapee (Smell what The Dev is Cookin')
The thing is, given enougth storytime, a Predator will royaly kick the crap out of an estabished charcter, but then the charcter in question will recover and put the thing down good. Sure, a whole bunch of disposeable supporting chacters will buy it, but it's dead at the end. So what i see hapeing is: A whole bunch of no-name bounty hunters get it (like that bat-headed guy in Shadows of the Empire), Fett takes a few nasty hits, he patches himself up, gets the Predator to chase him right into a leathal trap killing the thing instantly, and it ends with Fett saying something witty while standing before the dead Predator.
I've read a lot of these things, i should know.
- 'Lord' Rev. Dr. Paul Soth
Think about it: Fett has a lot smaller build than your average bounty hunter. Look at that walk (s)he has... not the plodding march like the average stormtrooper, but a graceful, gymnast-like catwalk. And a woman's body is a lot more flexible and adept at carrying all that gear: as one who once impersonated Fett, I can attest that all those layers of armor, a jetpack and assorted weapons can really hinder movement. But look how sleek Fett moves with all that stuff. How else can one do so laden down... unless Boba Fett was really a woman?
And if Return of the Jedi:Special Edition is any indication, Fett is not only a woman, but a lesbian also... for all we know that might be Ellen Degeneres behind the mask (angry at her show being cancelled). Han Solo in carbonite wasn't just a gift for Jabba the Hutt, but becomes a symbol of masculinity imprisoned. Or perhaps her flirting was merely a cover for her true identity... and then carbonized-Solo might have been a really weird toy for Fett on board Slave I.
How does this affect the matchup? In two movies, there was one target that the Predator did not kill: women. Okay, he almost killed one before seeing she was pregnant, but otherwise he never killed a female for any reason. Why would he make an exception for Fett?
Fett and the Predator meet, but Predator's infra-vision sees the woman under the armor. While locked in indecision, Fett blasts the Predator away with nothing but her sawed-off carbine. The only thing that remains of the Predator are his dreadlocks hanging next to the Wookiee scalps on Fett's shoulder.
(the last we see of the Energizer Bunny is a thonged, pink rabbit's foot dangling from the ignition key to Slave I)
- Chris 'Jedi' Knight and if Darth Vader couldn't get the bunny's battery, how could these two do it?!
My friend has a Boba Fett T-shirt (tm). He does not have a Predator T-shirt.
So you see, Boba Fett cannot lose. Boba Fett has become a cult figure (tm), and thus has attained a measure of immortality. So, even if he were to lose, he would still live on, and end up winning in the end.
- Adam B.
Video games: Boba Fett is a playable character in only one game, the pathetic "Masters of Teras Kasi" for the PSX. Preddie, OTOH, has two Aliens v. Predator games (one an arcade beat-em-up, the other the only cool game on the Atari Jaguar.) Advantage:Preddie.
Spin-off stories: Preddie and Fett are both in a plethora of comic book stories and novels, not to mention fan-fictions. Dead heat here, as both are basically equal in quality.
So what's the deciding factor? ACTION FIGURES. Yep, that's right, little plastic action figures. Now, any toy collector (read:geek) out there knows that one of the most rare items you can get your mitts on is a Boba Fett with Real Firing Backpack Rocket! More dangerous than lawn darts, they were recalled very quickly. So here's what happens:
Fett and the Preddie are slugging it out (Fett can see him easily, since his armor is equipped with more vision enhancements than Geordi's visor) when Preddie catches Fett with a shot to the gut. As Fett doubles over, Preddie gives him the mighty axe-handle blow to the back and causes the Rocket in his backpack to launch, sending him flying back to his barber to have something done with those goofy dredlocks.
- Nate "The Snake"
- Anthony "Goatboy" Goats
Boba Fett: Cool Mandalorian Armor
Predator: His chest is covered with black fishnet. What a flamer!!!
Winner: Boba Fett
- Fett's illegitamate son
PREDATOR: Squats down, throws his arms out and does a big roar
B. FETT: Just stands there, not impressed, remember this guy argues with the dark lord of the sith, Darth Vader, in ESB.
PREDATOR: Charges toward B. FETT, faintly suprised that his opponent hasn't wet 'em, after hearing his Scary Roar (TM), starts to feel foolish.
B. FETT: Being british and therefore great, ignites his rocket pack, flies over the head of the PREDATOR, managing to clock 'im one in the jaw with his boot, does a spectacular somersault, and lands behind him.
PREDATOR: The momentum he built up whilst charging coupled with a kick to the jaw causes him to fall head long and get a nasty knock to his temple (and a bit of a black eye).
B. FETT: Looks on in disgust, he's not used to dealing with such amateurs, strides over to the PREDATOR to punch his bloody lights out.
PREDATOR: Desperately trying to remember the pin number for his nuke, doesn't see B. FETT coming, and gets his (bloody) lights punched out. Is frozen, and mounted as an unusual, but highly attractive wall ornament in B. FETT's london flat.
The result - B. FETT wins after doing not much in particular, because after all he is british, and therefore a member of the greatest nations on the planet, while his oponent is some greasy garlic stained foreign sort(TM).
Long live BOBA FETT - and his future appearances as a jedi killing nutter in SW ep 2.
I thank yew...
- andy stobirski
Whoever said that Fett only won half the time can't have counted all the books and comics, which would make Fett's failure rate somewhat closer to 0.1 %. Mess with the Fett, and you're dead. Just ask Jodo Kast, Bar-Kooda, Ry-Kooda, the Butcher of Montellian Serat,Nivek Yppiks, or any other of Fett's hundreds of prey. (Only you can't ask them, they're all dead!)
The Fett, a man (or woman) who is mean enough to follow a vendor who short-changes him across the galaxy to get back at him, lose for a pansy like the Predator? I think not.
"The Predator lunges after the Fett, who effortlessly ignites his jetpack, and scorches the Predator's head as he soars into the air. The Predator curses wildly, as Fett, grinning, grabs a thermal detonator thrown to him by the large number of Fett fans watching the match from a nearby fleet of landspeeders. Fett vaults past the Predator, throwing the thermal detonator into the Predator's mouth. The fans cheer the Fett and throws themselves at him as the Predator blows up."
See, you can't keep a good bounty hunter down!
BTW, the Sarlacc didn't manage to keep the Fett down, he got out. Just ask any of the millions of Fett fans who must be baying for your blood just now! (Or read "Tales of Jabba's Palace", or "The Mandalorian Armor".
- The Empress of Weirdness
Fett 1, Predator 0
Fett 1, Predator 1
Fett 1, Predator 2
Fett 1, Predator 3Analysis aside, here's the result: Pred paints a beam on Fett. Fett reflexively lights up his jetpack to evade, and promptly slams headfirst into a large tree branch. He crashes to the ground unconscious, leaving Pred ample time to dismember him properly.
In "The Empire Strikes Back" all Fett did was follow Solo and Leia to Bespin (ohh, that takes a lot of talent). Solo didn't even know he was being followed at the time. If he had known, I believe that he and Chewie would have warmed up the quad-guns and blasted Fett into itty-bitty-little pieces.
In "Return of the Jedi", Fett was able to slow Luke down with a quick tie-down (which Luke was quickly able to escape with his handy-dandy Light-Sabre). Fett was then tossed into the pit (due to a malfunction of his own equipment I might add), by a near blind Han Solo.
The Predator on the other hand, single handedly almost wiped out two teams (one team completely) of elite soldiers before being taken out by the Ah-nuld.
In his second appearance he beheaded Gary Busey (a feat that Gary himself has not been able to accomplish even if he rode his motorcycle without a helmet).
The way I see it, the Predator separating Boba Fett's head from his shoulders in a little under 12 seconds.
- Weird Uncle Dave
Picture it! You've just chased something one-third your size into the woods. You've fired all sorts of deadly, sonic nonsense at it, and the little bastard won't die. Suddenly, your prey whirls on you and laughs in your face. Pretty intimidating. You swing your Razor Frisbee of Death (TM) at it, but it only clangs ineffectually off of your quarry. With a shake of its head and a small, evil chuckle, your former prey says, "You can run, but it'll only force me to lead you more," as he draws his blaster.
Now is the time when you, as the Predator, must realize that you are ten shades of screwed , and impale yourself on one of your many handy ritualistic weapons. It's the only honorable thing to do, much less the only way to avoid having your own blood fricasee you inside-out from inside your exoskeleton. Boba Fett after ten minutes of toying with his pursuer. Predator filet.
- Phat Cheops
Sadly, Fett's victory will not carry over to the bunny hunt, as he will see the Energizer Bunny across a steep canyon and attempt to fly over with his jet pack, only to discover too late that his inferior Supervolt batteries will run out halfway across causing him to plummit to the bottom Willie Coyote style. Although one wonders why he was foolish enough to pursue the bunny in the first place considering even Darth Vader lost to it...
- "Mad Dog" Mike
Jesse "The Body" Ventura was in the Predator. Mr. Ventura was a Navy SEAL. Mr. Ventura knows, from his Predator days, cool weapons. He also knows, from his Navy Seal Days, how to use said weapons.
I'm from Minnesota. Mr. Ventura is running for Governor of Minnesota. If Mr. Ventura becomes Governor of Minnesota, you can bet his weapon knowledge will translate into our National Guard becoming more powerful than the armies of most countries . . . combined! To make a long story short, I'm staying on Jesse Ventura's good side!
Hurray for the Predator! Go, Predator, Go!
Retaliate in '98! Vote for Jesse "The Body" Ventura! I know I will!
Not Paid for by Volunteers for Jesse Ventura for Governor.
- Mark Wentz
1) The Predator already lost to The Terminator. Why do you insist damning this poor guy? He's cool. i mean everybody likes the Predator. But you keep matching him up against people we like MORE. I mean, whats next, Predator vs. Jesus? Come on guys. Da Grudge isnt a test of skill, its a popularity contest. Boba Fett is infintely more popular than the Predator (especially among sci-fi geeks like myself who actully read this page).
2) OK, Boba Fett hasnt been in Da Grudge before, but Chewbacca beat Worf. Boba Fett has Wookie fur (from dead wookies hes killed) hanging on his armor. So Fett can kill Wookies, who can kill Klingons, who are obviously related to Predators in some way. (Come, on, look at their foreheads). Therefore, Fett can kill Klingon/Predators.
3) Finally, i'll bring in Six Degrees of Rage (TM).
1-The Predator lost to Danny Glover.
2-Danny Glover is friends with Joe Pesci.
3-Joe Pesci got whacked by the Mafia (TM) in "Casino."
4-The Mafia (TM) is a huge crime syndicate much like the one Jabba the Hutt controls.
5-Boba Fett sometimes works for Jabba the Hutt.
Look, it only took me 5 degrees.
Conclusive evidence that Boba Fett can in fact beat the Predator. Plus he's just cooler.
- Trooper TK-421
"Fett's modified Mandalore armor includes a helmet that has a macrobinocular viewplate, motion and sound sensors, infrared capabilities, an internal comlink with his ship, the Slave I, and a broadband antenna for intercepting and decoding transmissions. Wrist gauntlets house lasers, a miniature flame projector, and a fibercord whip/grappling device; a backpack jetpack includes a turbo-projected magnetic grappling hook with twenty-meter lanyard. Fett also carries knee-pad rocket dart launchers, spiked boots, a concussion-grenade launcher, and a Blas-Tech EE-3 rifle. Braided Wookiee scalps hang over his right shoulder to complete the outfit."
Before proceeding, I'd like to point out that "Braided Wookiee Scalps" would be an absolutely bitchin' name for a rock band.
Anyway, paring away most of the tech-talk, we see that Fett has sensing capabilities equal to the Predator's, a flame-thrower, grappling hooks (which would counter Predator's net technology) and a fair deal of long-range firepower as well. He doesn't have any close-combat weapons, but then, Boba Fett doesn't need them. He has the one critical advantage that will ensure the Predator's downfall: Flight.
One flick of the switch, and he's out of range of the Predator's weapons. Predator's spears and knives won't do any good now, and Fett can just take care of him with a rocket or two. By the way, according to Star Wars: The Essential Guide to Weapons and Technology, those puppies are homing missiles, are aimed by a laser (they automatically track movement once fired) and activated by Boba Fett's helmet. The Predator can run, but not even his invisibility suit will help him now.
Also, just in case you doubt Boba Fett's Mentos-level Coolness (TM), here's a little more evidence of Fett's superior ability, also from SW:TEGC. "...While (on some planet), Boba contacted Darth Vader, who called him 'the best bounty hunter in the galaxy'." If Darth Vader thinks Boba Fett is the best, than he is the best. Nobody disagrees with the Dark Lord of the Sith without being booked into an ICU after about three seconds. The only person in the Galaxy cooler than Boba Fett is Darth Vader.
Boba Fett takes this one in a minute (he does enjoy the thrill of the hunt, after all, and will likely toy with the Predator before killing him outright) and then polishes off the Energizer Bunny with his flamethrower (after removing the batteries, of course.) That little pink bastard always pissed me off.
- The Black Shadow - Master of the Night and Guardian of Useless Knowledge
Reasons? Well, take a look at the movies for crying out loud. Star Wars. The bad guys in Star Wars are dressed like Klan Members from the 40th century. The bad guys in Predator where bad-ass army-type guys. These are the type of guys that bandage sucking Chest Wounds with the celophane from their cigarette pack.
Storm Troopers go down after one shot, and Jedi Knights fight with flashlights. Bad-Ass Army-types(tm) get their legs blown off and CRAWL over to the Commie bastard that did it and bite his leg off. They fight with guns and bombs and knives and cool stuff like that.
Also, one more thing. After Luke Skywalker wasn't trying to crawl back up the airshaft to fight some more, he heard that they were selling complete Mos Eisley playsets for a mere $500 and had to get his lilly-white ass back in there to buy it.
- I really hate that Movie.
Here's a a brief synopsis of the action:
The Predator aims at Boba Fett only to realize he isn't allowed to use his blaster against real opponents, only against the stupid bit characters he kills as movie filler. Damn. He pulls his Razor Disk, extends his Claws, and tries his only other tactic, a frontal assault.
Boba Fett's ILM issue FX Detector goes off way before Rasta Boy gets in range. "Incoming CGI at 300 meters and closing... 200 meters... 100 meters..." Fett's turns to the Predator, seeing him quite clearly with his macrobinocular-enchanced vision, and blows his arms and legs clean off with his blaster.
"You've got to be worth something to somebody, buddy. Until then I think I'll call you Matt." Fett wipes the fetid ewok turd on his boot onto the Predator's faceplate and goes back to hunting the Pink Menace.
Anyways, not that this would be close. Grandma Fett mercilessly stuffs the Predator full of pierogies and cabbage rolls and leaves him to die in the middle of the forest.
- Thinkmaster General
- Neofelis nebulosa
The Predator, OTOH, made all the soldior's traps backfire in the first movie.
The victor is clear (as in invisable *g*)
1) Appeared in Star Wars movies, and therefore idolized as a god.
2)Wears heavy armour. Judging by the protective effect of similar armor in Star Wars (see accumulated files of the Stormtrooper Uniform Complaints Committee, or SUCC), this may not be all that much of an advantage.
3)Talks in a cold and intimidating voice
4)Armed with blaster, wrist rockets, and some kind of entangling cord launcher.
5)A jet pack. Although this ultimately proved to be a mixed blessing.
What the Predator has going for him:
1) Seven or eight feet tall. Can beat the crap out of Arnold Shwarzenneger. Or however the hell you spell it.
3)Screams with a loud and intimidating voice.
4)Nasty-ass shoulder cannon with laser sight. I'd take this thing over a blaster any day.
5)Net launcher, spring loaded spear, razor disc, razor claw
6)Walks around without making clanking noises
Lets face it: one thing and one thing only saved Ahnold and Sergeant Murtaugh: the fact that the main characters don't get killed in hollywood movies. Boba Fett is ice -cold, but being ice-cold doesn't stop you from being decapitated by an invisible 8-foot tall alien wielding a razor disc. These things always come down to hand to hand combat in the end anyway, and I think we all know who's got the advantage there. It would make a cool action sequence, no question, but the ending is never in doubt. Boba Fett's head on the Predator's mantlepiece.
Also, since Fett was on the screen so little, this shows that: 1. It doesn't take long for him to do a job and do it WELL. and 2. Despite the number of Star Wars fan boys who started drooling over him after the second movie, he was successfully able to avoid being either being mobbed by fans or being "seen" by the camera for more than the Jabba scenes in "Return of the Jedi." The man is obvioiusly a master of the Art of Stealth(TM). In fact, the only POSSIBLE reason that Fett got knocked in the pit by a blind Solo was the he did it ON PURPOSE. Not wanting a legion of fan boys following him and screwing up future contracts, he faked his death, and only reveals his existence to select clients.
Otherwise, imagine Fett will USE the legion of fanboys as cannon fodder to distract the Predator in combat. Either way, the Predator is toast, and Fett gets a fat reward from Schwarzennager, who's heart condition allows him an excuse, I mean reason, to not go mano-a-mano himself.
(a+b+c(d+e+f)]* g= ?
a= armor factors
b= weaponry factors
c= Superiority modifyers
d= Physical aptitudes
e= Physical aptitudes
f= Physical aptitudes
g= Brutality Factor
[Light bending armor+ High power shoulder cannon+ superior(stength+ speed + skill)]* brutish alien badassnes= (Dead bounty Hunter+ hole in chest)-head-skin
- The Southern Fist
Predator: killllllll......maimmmmm.....dunkin donuts.....hott..
Fett: Whatever. While you have been "hunting" me, I took the liberty of watching your 2 movies. They were boring and have brought me the closest to murderous rage in years. You are so pathetic you are lucky that your mother, or whatever you have, didnt feed you to Aliens and get it over with.
Fett: Yeah. Your kind of stupidity sunk the British Empire. And the Galactic one too. Unlike Jingles, I know the ultimate weapon to use against you.
Fett: A zippo.
Fett: To light your pathetic rubber suit on fire, and reveal who you really are.
(lights predator on fire, rubber suit is consumed)
Fett: I knew it was you.
Fett: I know, it sucked to be Harrison Fords bath towel, and you decided to use your off time to disembowel pathetic third rate actors. You were pretty good in those movies, but you should'nt have wimped out and blown yourself up.
Fett: Come on, I'll buy you a beer. Then we can go and eat rabbit. Would you like that boy?
- Bri Rob the Caveman
The question, according to Klingon code, is: Who took defeat like a man (i.e., with honor)? I had to go with Predator (though I kinda liked Fett m'self). What did Fett do when pushed over the edge and into the Sarlacc's Pit? Screamed like...you guessed it, the CBUB's now-proverbial 4-Year-Old Getting Spanked at K-Mart(patent pending).
What did Predator do? Laughed his head off before setting off a nuclear device that wasted a radius of roughly 10 square kilometers ... kinda like Carrie on PMS Day.
Predator could almost be an honorary Klingon, given his attitude about eating it. Therefore, I give him this match.
- The Genius Formerly (and Still) Known as Eddie
- King of No Media
Possibility #2: Predator wins.
Several years pass.
LucasFilms decides to re-release the Grudge Match, adding 26 seconds of newly-edited scenes in which the gang at Industrial Lights & Magic helpfully blip out the entirety of Predator's offense, and maybe paint a red bullseye on his ass for laughs.
Result: Boba Fett wins.
Scaly's goin' down.... in 1998 or 2015, take yer choice. Either way, Boba Booey gladdens the hearts of Burger King plastic cup collectors everywhere, while the Predator trades inside tips on how to take a punch and like it with fellow also-rans Jesse "the Body" Ventura and Carl "Apollo Creed" Weathers.
- The King of Tonga
Not one to rest on his laurels, the Predator resumes his search for the Energizer bunny. It's no big challenge to follow the constant BOOM-BOOM-BOOM, and soon he is drawing a bead on the fleeing example of lepus continuous boomboomboomus. But just as his finger finds the trigger, he detects a presence behind him. He whirls to find...The Snackwells Cookieman!! Recently fired and charged with grand theft because of massive inventory losses on his route, he finally Went Postal (tm) and took his revenge on a cold, weight- conscious world before escaping to Costa Rica in a crate of low-fat Pecan Sandies being smuggled to Marxist insurgents (tm). His eyes glint with madness, his shirt is torn, muddy and gore-encrusted, his tie is knotted around his head Rambo-style, and the heads of several low-fat snack-loving housewives adorn his belt. Both alien and madman react with lightning speed, but the crazed snack vendor slaps the Predator's weapon aside, sending it spinning into the brush. Just as quickly, he brings his belt-fed M-60 around to bear on the alien hunter's face. "Pick on someone your own size, Rasta-boy" he snarls nasally, pulling the trigger.
"Come, my friend", he says to the Bunny as the echo of his fire dies away, "let us share a new destiny together. We will be nothing less than gods." And that's how it happened that a previously unknown Aztec tribe in the region began to worship a new death god called Cookieman and a pink fertility god whose hymns all had a great beat, but were hard to dance to and just kept going and going and going...
- Mr. Silverback- "Both Mangled and/or Killed" button? I don't need no stinking "Both Mangled and/or Killed" button!
- James Vargas
How do we know Fett will win? One word, Fanboys. Yes, the imfamous fanboy horde shall strike again, for When the Predator and Boba Fett face off, Hordes of Star Wars obsessed Fanboys shall flood into the area in search of the 'perfect' souvenir (A piece of Fett's armor, a signed stormtrooper helmet, etc.) And because the pathetic excuses of Fanboy life are unarmed, the predator can't shoot them. So, Fett, having no such qualms, will pull out some sort of submachine gun and go to town, mowing down alien hunters and fanboys alike
1. You can't kill what you can't see.
2. Boba Fett screams like a girl (come on Boba, it's just a creature's stomach, it's not like they'll make you watch the Prequels in there)
3. Ahnold's a bit tougher than Harrison Ford in ice (or carbonite as the case may be)
- Matthew Rosenthal
- Matt Greenbaum
- Mike Razyhead
Boba Fett: Cash-cold and hard. Money is the biggest
motivatior around, just ask Mrs. Gates.
Predetor: Trophies-The man is a pack rat. How do we know he didn't get that alien head at Boba Fett's yard sale. This freak should be collecting Beanie Babies, it might keep him from getting his alien butt kicked.
- Agent Bloom
Then I went back to review the trilogy. Fett does nothing in Empire. Trips and gets his ass swallowed in Jedi. Fucking pathetic. What the hell is so great about that? His helmet looked cool, sure, but so does the Predators. The whole argument about Fett being defeated by SO many people (Jedi, Indiana Jones, Wookie etc) is bullshit. He fucking TRIPPED. What kind of a moron trips? That's pathetic...That's our great bounty hounter? MY ass. He coudn't even catch that fag Han Solo.
Lets look at the Predator. 7 feet tall. Invisible. All kinds of vision traking. Arm cannon from hell. Shoulder cannon from hell. Death net. Death spear. Death disc. Death knives. All kinds of trophy skin rippers. Death claws. Cool ass dreads. Fangs. Strong. Intelligent. Basically Invincible.
Lets look at Fett. 5'10. Visible. Vision impaired due to crappy ass helmet. Cool looking helmet. Cool looking armor. Retro crappy Rocketeer wannabe jetpack. A blaster. British. Basically Pathetic.
And if anything, being British should count AGAINST him. The British are sad sacks of shit. Let's look at the crap the British have tortured us with: M. Python, Spice Girls, Oasis, Beatles, Star Wars, and the Biggest offense of all: The Royal Family. Never mind that they mangle the enlish language. "The Queens' English" my ass. So how does this help Fett? Is he going to scare Predator with his shitty accent. Is he going to wow him with his ability to drive on the wrong side of the road? Or how about how tall he is? Face it Fett doesn't have a chance. Too bad all you brainwashed Star Wars peon losers can't accept that.
By the time the Predator arrives, Boba Fett has whipped the geeks into fighting shape. Armed with sharp geometry protractors and imitation phasers they bought at Trekkie conventions, Boba's nerd minions easily overrun the poor Predator, although he manages to wipe out most of them in a messy display of hacking, slashing, biting and skewering.
Boba stays to rule the jungle nerds as their king until the day when the whole tribe is wiped out by a village of Ewoks under the command of the Energizer Bunny whom they recognize as the son of god on earth.
- I.C. Sedablineman
The Predator is a modern day coboy, much like the wussbags in the horse Whisperer and the Bridges of Madison County. He's simply expressing his inner beliefs through the razor frisbee borrowed from the alien drug dealers in I Come in Peace. He's secure in his one-ugly-mother-shut-yo-mouth looks to take his helmet off in front of the mortal enemy he met a couple hours ago. He's tall. Under movie morality, he's the hero protaginist.
No other way this can end. Predator wins, Boba Fett gets a pie in the face or something.
- Kilgore Trout
Boba Fett = Robocop
Robocop > Terminator > Predator
And in turn, we get this:
Boba Fett > Predator
Boba Fett must be the victor in this matchup.
- Chris Liu
You think that a big hunter like this would want a challenge. Get liquored up. Run his computer system with Windows 98. Get up at four in the morning to the vocal disapproval of his wife and stubbornly sit in a mudhole for ten hours because it is "his spot". But no. He has to take the easy way out and he STILL loses.
What the Predator does is the equivalent of tracking a herd deer with a global spy satellite system, calling in an air strike, running over the survivors with an Abrams tank and then getting killed by Bambi. Great hunter my arse.
BOBA FETT: Boba Fett is the "Lord of the Bounty Hunters." But does that mean anything? Not really, if you consider the other losers that call themselves bounty hunters:
Well, at least Boba Fett doesn't need to cheat to win. Expect a very out of shape, very dead Predator tied to the hull of Slave 1.
- Paul G.
- King of No Media
If you liked this match, check out these other past
Chewbacca v. Worf
Ellen Ripley v. Sarah Connor
Waldo v. Carmen Sandiego
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