STEVE: Brian, when you're right, you're right. First of all, Flipper has the speed advantage. Only he will decide when and where each move is going to be made. Flipper will be calling the shots. Second, In addition to the intelligence you mentioned, Flipper also has the endurance advantage. His warm-blooded 4-chamber heart will keep him going well after 'ol Jaws is sucking wind (water). Third, Jaws isn't so tough. Sure, anyone can kill helpless people (land inhabitants) who are out of their element. It's like a bully picking on little kids. However, Flipper is at home in the sea. Jaws is in for an old fashioned ass-kickin'.
BRIAN: Finally, something we agree on! Of course, it took something pretty obvious for us to finally agree, but it's nice to see that it can actually happen. I mean, really, Jaws is nothing but a big fish. Flipper is a mammal!!! And, sure, Jaws may be real good at picking little kids off on the coastal villages of Connecticut, but who wouldn't be? I could do that. No one's ever gotten to Flipper!! He's the man! Why are we even discussing something so apparent? Why did you even ask this question in the first place, Steve?! What is you're next match-up going to be, Godzilla vs. Bambi?
STEVE: I liken this match to David and Goliath. Sure everyone's going to bet on the big guy, but the little guy will win it all and become king of the sea. Just remember, he's "Flipper, Flipper, faster than lightning" which means that Jaws (the proverbial "lightning rod") is in for the shock of his life. (Oh, the puns...)
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Sure, Flipper is smart, but Jaws has Steven Speilberg behind him. Financed by a jillion bucks, and also has ET, Indy Jones, and a bunch of cloned raptors to help him kick some dolphin tail.
Besides, Jaws has been harpooned, exploded, and electrocuted through four flicks and always comes back for more. Flipper only had to deal with 1960's style bad guys, and never dealt with any serious threats.
Look for Flipper in a tuna sandwich near you.
NO ONE GETS UP FROM THE DORSAL SMASH!!!!!!!!
#2 Jaws is a combination of man and machine and animal: Jaws consisted of a montage of Jaque-Cousteauesque footage of actual sharks combined with footage of mechanical JAWS OF DEATH controlled by calculating movie key grips. Bottom line: flipper is outnumbered by mechanical and actual killing machines.
#3 Flipper can do no evil: killing goes against all the goodness which he represents, he would rather reason with and tame jaws than deliver the final death blow.
#4 How many hockey teams are named after dolphins: Hockey is a much more violent sport than football: Marino can't win superbowls, hence they are intrinsically weak. The San Jose sharks have been surprisingly good for being such a young team.But I digress.
#5 In the underwater battleground, Flipper has the inherent weakness in that he needs to get to the surface for air. Jaws has no such weakness he can hold Flipper in the vise-like grip of his jaws and suffocate him before ultimately preying on his warm-blooded flesh.
'nuff said Jaws in a cakewalk.
-Bill and Shung
But let's study this rationally. First, you've got to wonder about Flipper's motivation. Can you really count on his hypnotic compulsion to kill? Flipper's a pretty peaceful, fun-loving guy (or gal) and probably wouldn't be able to take a life no matter how well conditioned. And can you find a psychologist with enough insight into the workings of the marine mammal mind to do the job appropriately.
Second, take a look at the theme music. Nobody, and I mean nobody, is going to be intimidated by the theme from Flipper. But the Jaws music strikes something primal. A definite psychological edge to ol' Bruce.
Third, Jaws has got the physiologic edge as well. Especially if there's no time limit. Flipper's an air-breather, so that means frequent trips to the surface, while Jaws can just cruise slowly underwater. Flipper is warm blooded, so if he doesn't eat enough to maintain body temperature, its hypothermia time. And since all the other creatures have been cleared from the combat zone, Jaws can just sit back and wait for Flipper to turn blue. Not very sportsmanlike, but what do you expect from a Great White?
Flipper's only hope is to renegotiate this battle into a tag-team contest between Jaws and the powerhouse trio of Flipper, Darwin, and the Incredible Mr. Limpet. Darwin has proven himself in his bout with the Giant Prehistoric Aquatic Fire Lizard of Doom, and if nothing else, Don Knotts would be irritating enough to attract Jaws's attention so the other two slam him from behind.
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