In one corner of the bar, a few sets of eyes noticed her entrance. "Hey there, Sammy, take a look at what just walked though the door." Indeed, Sam Malone had noticed her with his sixth sense the moment she entered. "Oh yeah", Sam replies, "I bet she would enjoy some of the rides at Sammy's Playhouse." Sam rises from his chair and walks over to the bar to meet this Catch of the Day (tm).
Meanwhile, in the other corner of the bar, a grand celebration was going on. Since it was Richie's 21st birthday, the whole gang was out to have a good time. Suddenly, a quick hand gesture from The Fonz brings the laughter from Ralph Malph's nutty jokes to an abrupt halt. All eyes turn to the Fonz, who is staring intently at Melissa. "Ayyyyy! I think I am in love!" cries the Fonz to his friends. He swipes the comb from his leather jacket and attempts to fix his hair before realizing that it's already perfect. The Fonz straightens his jacket and struts over to the bar to meet his dream woman.
So, Brian, which of these lusting lechers lands this lesbian's love?
And besides, what wooing power does the Fonz have? That snap? Oh, that will go over well with a worldly woman of the 90s. I'm sure you'll claim that that snap of his has some irresistible, mystical power, but I'd say that it's more of a signal than a power. What naive girl at Al's has he not already had? They all know him, they all know what the snap means. Melissa, not familiar nor interested with this, will just laugh and throw a drink in his face. And what does Sam have going for him? Well, everybody wants him. They may not realize it right away, but they do. The prudish Diane Chambers, attracted to Sumner Sloan aka the Anti-Sam, fell head-over-heels. The spiteful and disinterested Rebecca finally succumbed as well. Even that Russian poetry freak friend of Diane's was all over Sam. And Carla, who hates everybody, had a bit of a thing for him, too. The list goes on and on: Loretta, that councilwoman, Whoopi. And I've always had my doubts about Cliff. Clearly, the question is not who will Melissa fall for, but how long will it take her to fall for Sam. I say 90 minutes tops.
STEVE: Brian, you know so little about which you speak. I happen to have photos in my possession (sent to me by a friend who lived there) of an annual parade in San Francisco called "Dykes on Bikes". I would scan them in for our viewers, but I don't think fat, topless, lesbian bikers would be appropriate material, especially for younger audiences. Let me just say that they do, in fact, like motorcycles a whole lot. And of course, that translates over to the Fonz, who will have her in his power before Sam is finished adjusting his toupee. A single snap of his fingers is all that it will take. No woman can resist him. This is shown time and time again. In fact, it is apparent to even a casual Happy Days viewer that even Mrs. Cunningham has a thing for "Arthur". Sam, although he does well, does get denied frequently, usually by the more intelligent women.
Sam has other psychological problems which will hamper him as well. He will approach Melissa, but will then start thinking about Diane or Rebecca. He gets hung up on his old romances, and this will lead to him faltering at a crucial moment. He also has a lot of pressure bearing against him. With the immense reputation he has built up with Norm, Cliff, and the others, he is placed under considerable strain. He'll crack under the pressure (as he always did while pitching for the Red Sox), and have to forfeit to the Fonz.
BRIAN: Steve, Steve, Steve. It's so like you to bring up the exception that proves the rule. Do you really think that anything that ever has or ever will happen in San Francisco is at all applicable to anything that ever has or could ever occur in Utah? We're talking about two places at opposite ends of the sexuality spectrum. After personally viewing these pictures of yours, I can say that they provide definitive evidence of two things: 1.) The Apocalypse is upon us and 2.) A woman has to be fat to like motorcycles. Melissa, not being fat, will have no interest in bikes or, subsequently, The Fonz.
And if anyone is gonna be hung-up, it's the Fonz. Aside from the way Joni loves Chaci (tm), has there ever been a TV love greater than that between The Fonz and Pinky Tuscadaro? Surely the Fonz has not yet recovered. And if you want pressure, imagine how The Fonz would feel striking out in front of Ralph, Potsy, and Clarence, who idolize him. He'll crack from the pressure before Sam does.
And the ultimate proof that The Fonz will strike out is that he really isn't as cool as he is portrayed to be. Remember, they have a lower standard for cool in Wisconsin than they do in Boston (or anywhere else in the word for that matter). In Wisconsin, wearing cheese on your head is considered cool! Do I have to draw you a map? If the Fonz was so cool, how could he have ever been responsible for Cop and a Half? And if the Fonz was so great with the ladies, how come he and Richie ended up running a prostitution ring out of a morgue with Mr. Mom? And do you remember who one of the hookers was from that ring? That's right: Shelley Long. Seems the Fonz would need 50 dollars to make Diane holler, yet Sam rode that gravy train for years. QED.
STEVE: First off, let me say that between your field hockey comment and now the Wisconsin slam, I hope your will is in order since you'll probably be murdered before the match is over. I also note that, as usual, you have to resort to irrelevant TV-universe references that are quite tenuous at best. You selectively pick these to make your point (which I commend), but of course you leave a lot out of the picture. The Fonz also brought us things such as MacGyver, which cancels out your Cop and a Half point. And the Pinky issue is irrelevant as well. Of course he had everyone believing he loved her. But that was just part of his image. The Fonz knew that women are more attracted to unattainable men. A true genius.
Finally, let's look at a solid piece of evidence instead of all this dilly-dallying. Sam, of course, is known for his black book, which supposedly contains the numbers of all the gorgeous women he's dated in Boston. The only time anyone actually ever went through his book was when Cliff decided to get a date from it. What did he end up with? A cleaning lady! With that being the only available data point, chances are that the rest of the book also consists of bogus entries. Sam is all talk and no action. Prediction: Melissa will be singing "I wanna come over" into the Fonz's ear. Score one more for the Fonz.
Thanks to the many, many people that suggested this or a similar match-up.
For Cheers and Happy Days links, visit Sitcoms Online.
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That's right, we've unwittingly stumbled into a place where the proper response to the accidental destruction of a friend's beloved vase is not a heartfelt apology and an offer of financial compensation but instead a hare-brained scheme that's doomed to failure before the second comercial break.
To quote our WebTV Guide:
Cheers, NBC - Sam sets his sights on a beautiful singer, unaware that the Fonz has his eye on the same prize! Hijinks ensue. Guest starring Richard Winkler.
A simple analysis of sitcom chemistry yields the obvious solution. Since the writers are unwilling to commit to a definite decision in one or the other's character, and since its already a known fact that Melissa does in fact "swing the other way", it becomes clear that whatever ploys, schemes, and outright lies either side attempts will backfire miserably, leaving both Sam and the Fonz watching with despair as Melissa picks up another woman and strolls on out.
Winner: Probably Lilith, since she'd (in a rational universe) be the last you'd expect.
- Jon who has too much time on his hands
1.Sam moves in first-- Woody can stall the Fonz for at least a while. After some small talk, Melissa enightens Our Boy Malone (tm) to the fact that he's going to be feeling like Lou Diamond Phillips did when Fraulein Etheridge stole his wife. Plus, Sam always consults with the regulars when confronted with a spectacularly unusual situation, which in this case, prompts a 4-hour theory of lesbianism from Cliff Clavin, and comas ensue.
2. Fonzie, after much translation, realizes that this chick likes chicks. wooaaah-aaaayyyy! 50's values cause Arthur Fonzarelli's brain stem to shut down. (Remember, he had issues to deal with when he found out his pet dog was retarded, so any other shock to the brain after all the daredevil acts could put him in a coma.) Fonzie returns to his booth to beat the crap out of Potsie and Ralph Mouth. Ritchie he'll need for help on this one later, so the Cunningham boy avoids death.
3. Melissa takes out Diane for hot monkey sex, Jules and Vincent from Pulp Fiction hold up the bar, and since Jules can out-correctamundo Fonzie, everybody stays cool and nobody gets hurt.
Etheridge-hot monkey sex, but boring morning conversation
Robbery survivors-no money, but styling 60's surf music a la Tarentino.
Arthur Fonzarelli, contrariwise, is a Force of Nature(tm). Sex appeal runs so strong in his genes, Scott Baio got some simply by being his cousin. And Fonzie has some experience in, ahem, conversion jobs. Visualize Pinky Tuscadero for a moment. Recall she had a sister named Leather. I think you get the idea.
Fonz snaps, which flips Sam's toupee over his eyes, and effortlessly walks off with the prize, and the admiration of Norm and Cliff.
And guys, you're behind the curve on lesbian motorcyclists. Those, er, bikes were in the Inaugural Parade four years ago. The Apocalypse(tm) has been upon us for quite some time now.
- Call me Shane
I figured both guys would strike out miserably. One thing that lesbians tend to have in common is (no, not field hockey) that they're not attracted to men.
I'm addressing this opinion to Steve only, since I assume Brian is currently being hunted across the continent by lesbians, bikers, field hocky players, overweight people, and all of Wisconsin. My condolences on your loss, Steve.
- Lorna, Ottawa
- Peter Storm, Man Without Pants
1) Mormon Tavernacle is the dumbest thing I have ever heard
2) This whole contest assumes that neither the contestants nor the goal are overcome by a hoard of Mormon missionaries, asking them to repent of their sins. In Utah, neither Sam Malone nor The Fonz will last half an hour in Utah without converting or running. Melissa won't last ten minutes.
- masa panic
- The Village Person
- Sluggo at UIC
So with Sam out of the picture (I figure he'll try once fail, and become interested in someone who will be more receptive to his charms) the only real quesiton is can Fonzie overcome Melissa's lesbianism. A tall order indeed, I don't think even Superman could do it, but this is the Fonz we are talking about, he is more than Superman, the Lone Ranger, and Batman combined. And just remember the Fonz never looses, he always gets the girl. (And he has done it on the road as well as in Wisconsin, proving that his powers are indeed mystical and not just a recognition signal for local girls) Look at all the Fonz has done, look at his incredible success rate, look at the power of the Fonzie snap. Yes, Melissa could resist a normal man, she could even resist the powers of the great Mayday Malone, but she will never be able to stand against Arthur Fonzareli.
- Brendan W. Guy
Sam is clearly out of his element. Unlike the rest of Sam's women, Melissa does not (as far as is known) have some sort of psychological problem which is a requirement to be attracted to Sam. Sam ends up with a pitcher of American beer over his toupee (which is the only thing American beer is good for).
As for the Fonz, after his patented *snap* doesn't work he suffers a nervous breakdown at his failure. He's last seen curled up on the floor drooling and trying to light his Exxon-soaked hair on fire.
And Melissa? Well, let's just say that Diane, Mrs Cunningham, Rebecca, Joanie and Pinky expand their personal horizons with Melissa's help.
- Keith Morrison
As for Sam Malone, I hardly watch Cheers, but I refuse to believe there is someone more successful than the Fonz, so he obvious fails too.
- Pathetic Comment
Before Sam and the Fonz even know whats comming, Melissa strides outside to meet and greet. "Hi, I'm Heather, and this is my companion Jodi. We're from the Church Of Latter-Day Saints. You know, the Mormons." At the word 'companion', Melissa's eyes light up, and she wisks the girls away, pretending to listen to the missionaries preach about the 'Scriptures' (TM) while trying to picture the three of them naked....
Sam and the Fonz, crushed by the spectacle, end up taking comfort in one another's arms, while Melissa, Book Of Mormon (TM) in hand, indulges in school-girl dreams....
- Slug (at home in lovely Sat Lake City, UT)
I refer you to the episode where Richie gets thrown in jail. In the end, who gets Richie out? The Fonz. How? By slapping the wall to open the outer cell, and stomping on the ground for the second. That's power! Despite being a member of the opposite team, Melissa will no doubt "switch sides" when she sees Arthur Fonzarelli. The guy simply has powers that no one truly understands. That power can be summed up in one word: coolness. He is simply so cool that he has abilities far and above those of mortal men.
- Mike Fine
Sensing the elevated Cootie(tm) level in the room, Melissa will realize that unless she acts soon, she's Got Nowhere To Go(tm). With a wide swing of her guitar, she knocks both pompadours flat as she dashes for the door with Lou Diamond Phillips' ex-wife Julie. Happily ever after and all that. End of story.
- Meredith Forbus
- Dale "Geoduck" Abersold
As the Fonz snaps his fingers, and Sammy pours more beers to try and get her drunk, Mz. Etheridge is whisked away by the secret flaming duo of Jenny Piccalo and Dr. Lilith Crane. Sam is so humiliated he signs on for a bad CBS sitcom, and the Fonz is so shaken that he vows he will not show his face again until Potsie or Ralph get a real acting job.
Ratings will plummet and both shows will again be cancelled.
Then, when Mr. Fonzarelli makes the scene, he'll interpret her as being shy, instead. Whereas Sam took the cue to apply more pressure until she cracked, Fonz will apply the same moves he always uses on shy girls: Appear warm, thoughtful, sensitive, and make her feel comfortable. Melissa will then think that he's not such a bad guy in spite of his "initial" attempt to pick her up, and say, why not. Let's take in a movie, or go for a ride, or something. Nothing's gonna happen. Which is just what Fonz wants her to think. And after one night, the story's over. Sorry, Sam.
- I know better.
- paTRICK heSTER
Where you'll find them.
Sam Malone. Works behind a cellar bar in downtown Boston.
The Fonz. Works as a grease monkey, but hangs out at the local burger bar with friends.
The average age of the people in the burger bar is late teens/early 20s, clearly a much cooler age range than the mid 40s that is the average age of the patrons at Cheers. Score 1 for The Fonz.
Sam Malone. Hangs out with nobody loner losers Cliff, Norm, Woody,
Frasier (was a nobody at the time. He may have a radio show now, but
didn't then), Diane, Rachel, etc....
The Fonz. Hangs out with nobody highschool geeks, and his younger cousin, who would all look up to him immensely even if he wasn't The Fonz simply because he's much older than they are.
Sam Malone. Tall, athletic, rugged.
The Fonz. Classic Italian American good looks, which the chicks dig.
Sam Malone. Perfect.
The Fonz. Perfect.
Can spot an available woman 500 meters away in the dark.
The Fonz. Can spot any woman 1000 meters away in the dark, and make her want him even if she isn't available. The Snap(TM). How Brian can dismiss it as "that snap" as if it were an ordinary persons' click of the fingers is beyond me. Not only is it the Ultimate Pulling Power(TM) in the universe, it is also capable of lowering the lights, changing tracks on the Jukebox AND clearing a room of all male forms of life faster than a bored castration surgeon carrying a rusty pair of garden shears.
Score 2 to The Fonz.
The Fonz wins. He has to. It is the only solution. Women cannot resist him. Period. Sammy (who is called Sammy by their male friends?) on the other hand crashes and burns big time.
- Adam Spragg.
- The Duke
"Not until I am done making this margarita. So, maragarita, what are you doing later?"
You can't compete with this inherent wisdom, wit and style. The Fonz and his 50's schtick can stay there. Sam's not only been around the block, he built the damn thing. Also, Sam has certainly had some experience with lesbians in menage-a-trois situations. Sam in a landslide.
- Rico Suave
Anyways, the point remains that Fonz COULD have Ms Etheridge, if by some god-awful mistake of human events he was caused to WANT her. Hell, *I* don't want her, and i've been celibate against my will for the last ten years. So, while the Fonz COULD win, he most decidely does not want to, and therefore leaves Sam to try. He will fail miserably, and then begin hitting on RuPaul, realizing his horrible mistake only after it is Too Late (TM).
- Big Daddy Dave
Both the Fonz and Sam, will crack under the pressure. The're putting their reputations on the line in front of their friends with a lesbian. Not only that, they have to know each other's reputation. It's all too much for the male ego.
The match will be over when Diane Chambers and Pinky Tuscadaro walk into the bar. Melissa will take one look and fall in love. While Pinky, being an adventurous biker babe may have no hesitations, Diane Chambers will take some persuading (and some tequila) before she can be talked into a threesome. Although, sometimes it's the ones who seem to be the most uptight who turn out to be the wildest....
The telephone rang. They heard the name Sam Malone. They jumped at the chance to spend the evening with him knowing a busy man like Mr. Malone may not be calling again any time soon. Any man with this type of power over women could easily beat out the Fonz for the hand of Melissa Etheridge.
- Mike S.
- Stephen Hawkins "King of four wheelin'"
... and then, Lilith and Joni converge on the scene simultaneous, having shared a mutual vision of Melissa surrounded by a golden light as she first came through the door. Each grabs a bottle from behind the bar, knocking their repsective fellow cast members cold. Melissa wakes as if from a dream, perhaps a nightmare, and the three women exit arm in arm in arm, just as Carla drops a quarter in the juke box and punches up "Yes I Am" ....
- pearl diver
A *much* more likely scenario is that she sees these two swaggering towards her, guesses their intentions, and realizes that if they continue on their current paths, and she ducks, they'd probably knock their heads against each other and collapse on the floor, out cold. She'd quickly dismiss this as no fun at all and try something like this:
Melissa (sidling up to the Fonz): Hey, you know what that old guy over
there said about you? He said you were a middle-aged man pathetically
trying to pretend to be a teenager, that your hair looked more fake
than his, and that _Macgyver_ was totally unrealistic.
Fonz (angrily): Why that old geezer...! (starts heading towards Sam menacingly.)
Melissa: Wait! (hands Fonz a button that says "Gary's Old Towne Tavern: the ONLY place to drink") Take this. It's my good luck charm.
Fonz: Thanks, babe. (He puts it on and continues his advance.)
Now Melissa would run up to Sam breathlessly.
Melissa: Oh, please, save me from that guy! I tried to tell him to
get lost, but he said he was more of a man than you, that your ERA
stank, and that you looked pretty in blackface!
Sam: That damn punk! (sees the button) All right, he's had it!
And while Sam vs. the Fonz, the seduction Grudge Match turns into Sam vs. the Fonz, the Good Old-Fashioned Fist Fight Grudge Match (tm), Melissa finishes her drink in peace, and steps over the bruised and battered bodies of her would-be suitors. And still they get off easily... It's always better than being locked in a cell with a hallucinating, machine-gun toting Juliette Lewis...
- Rei "Leaper" Nakazawa
Deep down, you always knew that the Fonz had a heart of gold, and a morality system based in the 1950's. A threesome is the farthest thing from his mind. His ego is far too delicate to stand idley by and watch his "date" smooch his other date.
Sammy on the other hand is known to be shameless, he'll do anything and everything it takes to bed this beauty. He has set the precedent! Recall his contest with the frenchman Henry. Sam lost that contest, did he give up? NO! What did he do? He left the bar with three, yes three, young ladies for a night of fun and frolic.
She's not intrested in either of these guys alone, they have too many penises and far too few vaginas. She's gonna go with the guy that can deliver the goods. And we all know who that is. Good old Mayday Malone will be buried under a pile of lesbian love, wondering "who's hand is that?"
- Critical Bill
- The Jayman
Sam would perhaps have a chance except for two things: 1. Melissa has both a Significant Other (tm) and a Child (tm). Even if she were tempted so switch teams for a night, I doubt she would succumb with so much at stake. 2. If you've listened to Melissa's music, you would know she has quite a bit of Rage (tm), quite a bit of it apparently directed at Jerky Guys (tm) who mistreat Needy Women (tm). Not only will Sam Malone walk away with two balls kicked up into his strike zone, Melissa Etheridge will probably write a number-one selling single about it.
- Paul Golba with James, Anne & Mary
Sam and the Fonz hang back, stunned. "She's gotta be, you know, one of those Sapphic chicks," says the Fonz. "But then why is she coming on to Cliff?" asks Sam.
Melissa introduces herself, and Cliff introduces himself. Cliff? Isn't that a man's name? she wonders. But look at her! That isn't a man's body - except for the mustache. Perhaps this "Cliff" transcends my narrow notions of sexuality!
By now, Cliff has explained to Melissa the etymology of her name: "you see, it's Aramaic for 'eggplant'," and he's changed topics two or three times, oblivious to the look of confusion on her face. She cuts his babble short: "Cliff, let's go home and consummate our love for one another. Right now."
Cliff is too stunned to say no. Melissa dumps her previous "longtime companion" and moves in with Cliff. She takes to tape-recording Cliff's confused monologues and setting them to music. Her popularity plummets and she dies penniless. Sam and the Fonz read her obituary in the papers, and reminisce about the one who got away.
In a nutshell, the victor is clearly the Fonz. Let's go back to his chilhood, growing up as young "Arthur" "Fonzarelli". Now if that isn't a "Give me your lunch money or I'll kick your ass, Arthur" tip off, I don't know what is. The Fonz grew up with tough challenges, surpassing his nerdy name to become the epitome of cool, even in today's standards...The Fonz. Sam Malone prolly had chicks all his life...which makes him spoiled and soft.
With respect to the MAcGuyver nod, while Sam is still working on what his line will be, Fonzie will have pulled out a gum wrapper and created an electric guitar, with self powered amp, to serenade the impressed Melissa with...and probably saved the world from nuclear holocaust in the process.
And as a last note, Rebecca left Sam's arms to end up sleeping with Frazier (who has a tendency to get caught with underage girls). What does that tell us about his lovemaking skills?
The Fonz will also be struck down by the Seinfeldian statement. Being from the 50's, the concept of women being attracted to other women will be alien to him and as such, will sit in his 'office' contemplating 'chicks digging chicks.' However, not sharing Sam's lack of intelligence, he will resolve himself to winning Melissa back 'for the guys.'
The Fonz would eventually go on to win, EXCEPT for the prescence of a third sitcom-individual who has noticed Melissa. This recent Time Magazine covergirl will sweep Melissa off her feet and thus hand both Sam and the Fonz a crushing defeat. So, I put this to you: Why wasn't Ellen on the ballot?
- Blimpy the Lactose Intolerant Cat
What's left? Nowadays, there seems to be some sort of 70's revival going on. Is there a babe-hound from the 70's that could take a shot and landing music's most (least?) eligible lesbian? Is Huggy-Bear around to give it a shot? Will John Travolta get a chance to work his charms?
I see Melissa taking one look at her options, and quietly reaffirming her faith in lesbianism.
- Dave "1/2" Nelson
Fonzie, however, is a man of the 50's, and lesbians were, for the most part, unheard of. He would immediately -- and very cooly -- withdraw after finding out (with an emphatic "Whoa!!"), return to the corner, and have to explain it to Richie, Ralph (who would probably go over and try himself, only to get bashed with another guitar), and Potsie (who would sit there with a blank look on his face (yes, even more blank than usual) and end up driving everyone home because he would be the only sober one).
- Matthew Davis
k.d. lang made the cover of Vanity Fair () getting a shave by Cindy Crawford. How can Melissa settle for anything less?
- Alan Arvesen
Melissa's wife, on the other hand, is HOT. She also is the mother of Melissa's adopted child. Not to mention that she left Lou Diamond Philips (better catch than either the Fonz or Sam), for Melissa.
In short Melissa wouldn't take either of 'em.
Now, that said, I would like to mention to any angry lesbians out there that I have nothing to do with the writing of these sexist, piggy scenarios...
...please don't stop making movies.
- Howard Stern (aka Chuck Donovan, Virginia)
- SRTIIIKKKKE THREE!!!
- Shallow Blue
At the sound of "motorcy...cle", The Fonz shuffles onto the scene. "Aaaaayyy! Did I hear you have a motorcycle? (Snap! (tm) ) Why don't we ride up to Look Out Point and (nudge-nudge) watch the submarine races?"
"I don't think...Hey, you're that guy from TV! I used to watch you when I was a kid! What was that show? Potzies? The Cuninghams? You're the guy who went from the cool, 50's James Dean (tm) type to the panzy, sensitive modern man of the late seventies! Aren't you gay? This guy's looking for a date. Mr. Fonz, this is..." as she turns to Sam "...this is...I'm sorry, whats your name?
"Sam. Sam Malone. I pitched for the Sox and now I have a bar back in Boston called...."
"That's just great, Sam" she cuts in. "Fonz, this is Sam. He has a bar in, where did you say? Boston? Anyway, you boys, and my wife and I will all go to this...Look Out Point. I just HAVE to see how they are going to race submarines... in the desert !
No Question, both the Fonz and Sammy go down in flames. My guess is Melissa takes home Carla, Rebecca, and Diane for some crazy love and men bashing.
- Master Yoda
- Cheese suit wearer.
- George DeMet
My guess is Ralph finally gets a little action. Heck, to look at him I'm not even sure he really isn't a girl. Kind of one of those cheesey "dress like a guy to get treated with respect" made for TV movie kind of plots. Besides, he is so annoying, when she is done with him (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more) he will be easy to dump to the wayside and will only confirm in her mind that she is better off chasing chicks. Sam and Fonz are both reputed to be so good at what they do she might be left to question her orientation. Let's face it, if she goes straight her music career is trashed. Angry sounding women singers are much more interesting when they are of an alternative lifestyle persuasion.
Unless of course Steve was crazy enough to be talking about the early pre-leather Fonz which nobody thought was cool.
- I should be writing my history paper instead of this.
If you liked this match, check out these other past
Homer v. Norm
Cliff Clavin v. Newman
Andy Taylor v. The Cunninghams
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