Where Useless Advice Breeds Counseling

Do you need advice? Advice that only a person pretending to be a celebrity
could answer for entertainment purposes only?
Then you've come to the correct place: GrudgeLine.
Here at GrudgeLine, we've assembled a cracked staff to solved your daily problems.
Please send your question to

Dear Grudgeline,
I'll be filling out my brackets for the NCAA Hockey Tournament shortly, and given my total lackluster picks for the NCAA Basketball Tournament, I'm a little more inclined to do some actual research on this. How does Cornell look this year, and do you think they could make the Frozen Four?

Dear Anonymous,

Don't even mention the NCAA brackets; I took a beating myself. But, then, hockey's my game. I'm not expecting much from Cornell. They might pull off a game, but the odds for the Frozen Four are not good. Take Wisconsin beating Boston College for the championship with Maine and North Dakato filling out the Frozen Four. That's all small potatoes, though. If you want big money, look for Holy Cross to beat Minnesota. Good luck.
-Janet Jones (Bookkeeping codename: 99 Memorabilia)

Dear Grudgeline,

I have a question and only you can answer and survive the ensuing roundhouse kick to the face for asking it. What would Chuck Norris do?? - Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,
I ask myself that all the time. I've read two books of his testament: Against All Odds and The Secret Power Within. Certainly, some quotes have been taken out of context and used for vulgar purposes, but, as a whole, these are very inspirational scriptures and you might find yourself born into Norris fanatiscism again. You won't be understood (the reviewers practically crucified him and his writings), but you'll be spiritually resurrected. Let me tell you, I needed it from time to time. Like when the guys fell asleep while I was praying in the garden. Or when I practically had to walk on water to get the guys to trust me. But Chuck Norris has answers for helping people understand you and helping you understand people. God bless. Happy Easter,
-Jesus "Word" Christ

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