STEVE: You make some truly valid points, but if you look beneath the surface (both literally and figuratively), you'll see that the Bionic Woman has the edge here. Her advantage is that three of her limbs are bionic (i.e. mechanical) as opposed to flesh and blood. Different holds and twists won't hurt her, because there aren't any natural joints to produce pain. Wonder Woman can bend and twist all she wants, but it just won't hurt bionic limbs. Second, the Bionic limbs are nuclear powered. She can fight forever without fatigue. This will be the crucial factor in this match. I'd say they are pretty evenly matched for strength, but Wonder Woman will get tired, and eventually succumb to the power of bionics.
As an aside, I'll give you that Wonder Woman fills out the costume better. However, the bionic woman is nothing to sneeze at. If you take a closer look I think you'll find that she has her merits as well.
BRIAN: First of all, I never said the Bionic Woman was something to sneeze at - BUT SHE'S NO MISS AMERICA! Wonder Woman has got it goin' on!! Second, Wonder Woman is strong enough to tear open the Bionic Woman to expose her electronics to the mud: short circuit. Ol' Lindsley won't be able to lift a finger once the mud hits her transistors - just like sticking a fork in a toaster.
Also, Steve, I'd like to give you a bit of a reality check: The Bionic Woman is NOT nuclear powered! To be nuclear powered you have to have a much larger apparatus then could fit in her skinny little body. And here's another news flash, her limbs are not mechanical - it's just special effects. They really don't have the technology. They really can't rebuild her! But Wonder Woman is completely real! I've seen her! She's flesh and blood and all-powerful. Bionic Woman is just a cheesy science fiction TV mirage--Wonder Woman is the real thing!
STEVE: Brian, are you hearing those voices again? Maybe I should take you back to go see the nice gentleman with the leather couch. Don't you remember how we decided that Wonder Woman is not real? She's just fictional, like Superman and Batman.
BRIAN: OH!! Now NONE of the Superfriends are real!! Then how do you explain, mister, that I just came from the Hall of Justice (flown in Wonder Woman's Invisible Jet, by the way), hmmmmmm?!! People are constantly telling me that they're not real, like that nice man with the couch. Or those men that gave me that nice jacket. Or mommy. I know they're real! How can you say they're not? I see them all the time! They talk to me all the time! In fact, I can hear them now.....Gleek? is that you, Gleek? If I kill, Steve, we both get bananas? Yes, Gleek. Brian likes bananas....
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Bionic Woman only has the strength of her bionics to win the match, sure she can jump real high and crush tennis balls, but what does that have to do with mud-wrestling.
Wonder Woman on the other hand, is lithe and cat-like. And her costume allows her to be more so. Appart from her savage Amazonian strength, she is quick and acrobatic (traits she has gleaned from training with the other Amazons).
Bionic woman tries to use her only weapon, her immense strength, to try and crush Wonder Woman like a tennis ball. But after all, this IS mud-wrestling, and Wonder Woman squirts out of the Bionic Woman's grip. Using her acrobatic prowress, Wonder Woman tries several times to leg sweep the Bionic Woman, but to no avail, the Bionic Woman jumps higher and higher with each successive try. Finally, Wonder Woman tries one last leg sweep, and the Bionic Woman goes flying out of the arena, never to be seen again.
The idea that either the Bionic Woman or Wonder Woman would succumb to mudwrestling just to satisfy the fantasies of horny college boys is ridiculous. As Brian said (and I can't believe I'm agreeing with Brian), both characters were developed as feminist responses to the male dominated superhero world and as such would not belittle themselves through such meaningless activities. While men feel the need to prove to others how wonderful, strong, and arrogant they really are, women do not. Therefore the whole setup is pointless since neither character would ever particpate.
-Double-D Debbie Does Dallas Quickly, pro-mudwrestler
Using Bobby "The Brain" Heenan tactics, Oscar will distract Wonder Woman in order for Jamie to get some robotic cheap shots in. Oscar's most cunning move will be to poke Wonder Woman in the eye with his glasses when he removes them to draw attention to the fact that he has something important to say. Wonder Woman hasn't got a chance, since she hasn't got the golden lasoo and those bullet-proof bracelets. She has some super strength, but it won't be enough to beat Jamie Summers.
Since Wonder woman has been around the block a few times, her joints are beginning to creak and Jamie's bionic ear will hear the move before she even sees it. Wonder Woman will spend the entire fight throuwing punches into thin air. Eventually, after a few hours, Wonder Woman will collapse from fatigue and Jamie will sick Max on the prone, lifeless body of Wonder Woman. Once Max gets involved, Wonder Woman is Wonder Chewtoy. Game over in 2 minutes.
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