Mr. Spacely was dismayed. A shortage of space-age metals had nearly sent his company, Spacely Sprockets, into bankruptcy. Suddenly, a flash of insight! If his sprockets could be made of something else, a material that was durable, abundant, and most importantly, free, he would finally get the edge over his main rival, Cogswell Cogs. But what material? Stone! His sprockets needed to be made out of stone! Time to call in a lackey...
"You wanted to see me, Mr. Spacely?"
Back at home, he discusses the problem with his family. His boy, Elroy, chimes in, "Rocks, Dad? Gee whiz, there haven't been any rocks in millions of years. Between erosion and acid rain, they're all gone!"
Meanwhile, millions of years ago....
"...and then Mr. Slate said I had to stay here and guard the quarry all night! I don't know who would steal rocks, though. I think he's getting back at me for sleeping on the job. Anyway, thanks for bringing the family to keep me company, Wilma.
Suddenly, there's a flash of light and a popping sound.
"Step aside, caveman. I have to load all this stone into the time machine or I'll lose my job."
"Oh yeah, stringbean? Well, I have to guard this stone, or I'll lose my job!"
"If that's the way you want it..." Knuckles crack. Family members eye each other wearily.
So, Brendan, how will the futuristic family fare against the prehistoric people?
The Flintstones vs. The Jetsons
BRENDAN: The Jetsons' triumph over the Flintstones will be as quick and total as the impending U.S. triumph over Saddam Hussein and for the exact same reasons: superior technology, experience, and unity. Let's take technology first. The Jetsons have mastered space and time, miniaturization, invisibility, teleportation, and even automatic dog trainers. Silicon based. By contrast the Flintstones are stuck with inefficient, wasteful, smelly animal technology. Carbon based. Check out the Periodic Table of Elements: silicon is more advanced than carbon. Thus silicon-based tech must be more advanced than carbon-based.
Then there's experience. George is a virtual James Bond of corporate espionage, having performed dozens of covert operations for Mr. Spacely. He's also skilled at office politics, having twice bested the mighty Uniblab. With all this experience at dirty fighting, George will do whatever it takes to win. (Not that it will take that much since all you really have to do to best Fred is drop a bowling ball on his foot.)
And, most important, unity. While the Jetsons are a unified team, the Flintstones are hopelessly divided. Almost every episode of their show is based on intra-group conflict. Fred vs Barney, Fred vs Wilma, Fred vs Mr. Slate. As soon as Fred and Barney start "debating" which of them should be the next President of the Lodge, it's all over. George will have all the time in the world to carry off the stone while Wilma and Betty are busy bailing Fred and Barney out of the Bedrock City Jail.
DAVE: Poor, misguided Brendan. Sure, technology can be an advantage... if you have it with you! But George and company are in Bedrock now, baby. Nothing but clubs, rocks, and elastic-powered pebble-firing shotguns. The Flintstones definitely have the home-field advantage. Their caveman instincts tell them which rocks make the best projectiles. Besides, silicon isn't much of an advantage to begin with. Just ask Anna Nicole Smith.
Did I hear you say the Jetsons have mastered space and time? For goodness sake, George can't even master the simple devices in his own home! Not a day goes by in the Jetson home where George doesn't need to scream at his wife to "get him off this crazy thing". Even we in the 21st century have at least figured out the StairMaster (TM). George is as much a techno-peasant as Fred.
I fail to see how George is an expert spy. Sure, Mr. Spacely has sent him on a few missions, but that was only because he is expendable. Do you remember what his day-to-day job consists of? Pushing. One. Button. That's all. With the carpal tunnel syndrome and repetitive stress disorder he's sure to have, he'll be no match for Fred. The other Jetsons will fare no better. Wilma is cattier than Jane, and I have very little doubt that tiny Pebbles could whip Elroy. Elroy sucks. Don't even get me started on the family pets. Dino, in case you've forgotten, is a dinosaur, and will eat Astro, with a side of Judy.
Anything to shut that damn dog up.
BRENDAN: I've got to hand it to you Dave. I haven't seen such mastery of utter incoherence since the last time I talked to a Texas Tech student.
So Dino's a dinosaur is he? Ooooh scary! In other words Dino's a member of that oh so tough species that all died out just because the weather got a little nippy. Besides, Dino is a domesticated dino, fat and lazy from living the life of Riley with the Flintstones. Whereas Astro's original name was Tralfaz. A dog named Tralfaz is like a boy named Sue: they are going to grow up knowing how to fight real mean.
And on the technology issue, even if the Jetsons somehow forget to bring the requisite high tech back with them, they have been stranded without technology before. Not only did they survive, but they ended up creating a utopian society complete with electrical power, heated jacuzzis, and 101 different asteroid apricot recipes.
As for George's difficulties with the automatic dog walker, hey, Achilles had his heel, Superman had his Kryptonite. Every great hero has to have his one weakness. The important thing about George's struggles with that crazy machine is that every day he's on it, George is getting a great workout (even to the point of learning how to defy gravity). That prime physical conditioning combined with the extra 2 million years of evolution he's had over Fred means that even if they do end up going man to caveman, George is going to win.
And if you think Elroy sucks then I've got just three words for you. The Great Gazoo. (I won't even get started on Arnold the Paperboy. That would be kicking a man when he's down.)
DAVE: Brendan, the fact that you know Astro's original name is astounding. Those tuition dollars were well-spent. Unfortunately, your arguments are still feeble. How can you claim Dino is fat and lazy? Every day, when Fred returns from the quarry, Dino energetically and playfully attacks him. By your own admission, the-space-dog-formerly-known-as-Tralfaz is the one with the automatic dog walker. Which pet do you think is lazier?
As a personal favour to you, I wasn't going to mention the Great Gazoo. But, since you insist... Yes, I'll admit Gazoo was annoying and cocky. But he was also OMNIPOTENT! For all we know, he could have been a member of the Q Continuum! On top of which, it was Gazoo's sworn duty to protect and teach Fred. The minute George Jetson approaches, he'll be vaporized. And Gazoo won't be the only one backing up the Flintstones. Pebbles may not be good for much, but she'll be under the protection of a baby who's stronger than the Incredible Hulk. Wilma's mother can also be pretty scary when it comes to the well-being of her daughter. Who do the Jetsons have as back-up? A sassy robotic maid, and Elroy's cuddly and useless furball, Orbitty.
But if it boils down to just the family patriarchs, Fred's got a good hundred pounds on George to begin with. And it's not flab, either. Fred's working in that quarry every day, hauling stone. The family car, if you'll remember, is propelled "through the courtesy of Fred's two feet". That's hard work! George, meanwhile, presses his button, and floats around in his hovercar. Even walking is unnecessary, thanks to all the moving sidewalks. I'd be surprised if his muscles hadn't already atrophied.
Sorry, Brendan, but the Jetsons are history. Ancient history. Now get back to having a gay old time.
To see who will win this match, one must simply take a look at Bedrock. By all accounts, it seems to be a desert, or at least a very hot, sunny climate. There's never a cloud in the sky, there's little to no grass, and there are no trees other than palm. Now take a look at the citizens of Bedrock: all pastier than Ralph Wiggum's lunch. Evolution-wise, this makes no sense; in a time and place where shelter is so scarce, the natural inhabitants would obviously have darker skin to protect from the sun's rays. The only explanation is that the Bedrockians are, in actuality, a murderous horde from the north who killed off and/or drove out the indigenous people and settled in their town. Beneath that cute, Jackie Gleason exterior, there lie the instincts of a bloodthirsty monster, the likes of which George, in his insular space-needle apartment, will be wholly unprepared for.
True story: When I was seventeen... it was a very good year... but I digress... anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, when I was seventeen I was already 6 foot 3 inches tall but I only weighed about 160lbs soaking wet. After meeting my (6 foot 2 inch, 225lb) stock-car-driving- firefighting-engine-block-lifting Dad, Gorilla Dave, my friend Mike said the following:
"Man, I thought your old man was going to be a skinny little dude with glasses like you, but he walks in and it's like 'WWWWIIIIIILLLLLLMMMMMMAAAAAA!!!!!'"
You'll notice that the words "Jane! Stop this crazy thing!" just couldn't possibly fit in that story. The Flintstones pummel the Jetsons into something that paleontologists will someday mistake for some sort of giant proto-amoeba. Yuck!
- Mr. Silverback-- Sorry, the guy who writes my taglines got deployed to Qatar.
Has everyone here forgotten the entire concept of business to business partnerships? Think about this match for about three seconds. Four if you're from Texas Tech. The quarry sells rock. Spacely Sprockets needs to acquire rock. This match will be more like the purchase of Manhattan for some beads, than it will a grudge. The grudge will come a couple centuries later when they realize they got scammed.
- Datsun Wanderer
Being young, I must say I have never really seen an episode of either of these shows, albiet re-runs can be found from time to time. So, let's compare the two competitors, who are quite obviously at both ends of the spectrum:
George Jetson is a civilized, futuristic businessman intent on pleasing his boss. He has no experience in hand-to-hand combat, and spends his days eating food that is pasteurized into little anal- suppository pills. Yummy, eat up.
Fred Flintstone, on the other hands, is a neanderthal, who, in a time lacking governments had to fight for not only his, but his family's, meals. He has a club. He is tough enough to not only drive a car with his feet, but stop it as such. And while he has yet to outsmart the family cat (okay-okay, tiger), he is wearing an animal skin, meaning he's taken on some ferocious critter at some point.
I see the fight playing out as such: Fred raises his club, and - beats the crap out of each member of the Jetsons. How could it go any less? So what if Papa-georgio is trying to save his job? He's gonna get it.
In conclusion, it is completely unfair to match a businessman up with am uncivilized hooligan. Next week: an Enron exeuctive versus Devin the Mental Hospital Escapee.
- Mr. Floppy
George is going to find swiping those rocks awful hard after Fred's used that dinosaur crane to drop a few on his head.
Jetsons, meet the Jetsons
They're the retro space-age family
From the distant future
When they try to steal from Mr. Slate
When they fight the Flintstones
Flintstones, meet the Flintstones
And they'll cause some bedlam
George will wish he never picked a fight
When they fight the Jetsons
- Don "King" Milliken
Believe it or not, this is actually a physics problem. We must consider the Higher Physical Laws of Animated Time Travel(TM): Those destined to the past are apt to deplete it (also known as the Rule of The Infinite Homer):
Thus, George travels back in time, where he is likely bested by Fred. "Aha," George thinks as he nurses his wounds in his sky-dome home on Future Earth, "I have a Time Machine. I'll go back and help myself." When he arrives he confuses himself and is bested again. So he tries again. This continues until such time as there are sufficient Georges, either collectively or in sequence, to explain to each other what is going on so they can try to collectively best Fred. Considering the density of George, this will require multiple iterations.
The recurring Georges are offset by finite, but proximate cavemen, Fred can counterbalance the time-warping Georges by sending Pebbles to summon other quarry cave men ("Aba Doo-Doo Papa Smackem"). This keeps up until George has traveled himself back in time so many times that the Exponential George Expansion (EGE) reaches a magnitude greater than the Physically Proximate Flintstones Factor (PPFF) to vanquish the cavemen.
While EGE>PPFF can be quickly reached, the likely number of Georges needed will grow infinitely large, as future Georges are systematically weakened by their past, failed efforts, setting up a decay of EGE (EGE-prime) that causes the summation of Effective Georges to grow slower than PPFF. The needed number of Georges will quickly approach infinity.
Then, in a flash, space-time ruptures, because space is infinite but contracting, while time is an infinite loop of finite length, and therefore incapable of containing infinite incursions by George. After the bang fades away, all that is left is a Milliways menu, and a boy and a dog wearing glasses, standing on a floating hunk of debris:
"Gosh, Mr. Peabody, I didn't think it was really possible to
break time like that. What happened?"
- Dr. Stones
Greetings and salivations, fellow Grudgesters! I am typing this from my fiber-optic underground cable in the comfort of my bomb shelter, with 300 cases of Canned Meat and collection of Andie MacDowell pictures.
"Why?", you may ask. Why is a babe magnet like myself holed up in a cement happy house instead of studying for midterms or interacting with the species known as humanity? Well, I'll tell you. Just like we have been warned for centuries, the Apocalypse is upon us. How can I make such a claim? The signs have already begun to appear. Consider:
1) A TOC response file was pared to one solitary page, without Mr.
Iron Fist's help.
I'm waiting for the backlash as we speak. If the world doesn't survive this, I hope you all get irradiated quite painlessly. If humanity does recover, I hope there is no irradiation, except possibly Brendan.
P.S. The Flintstones take this. I mean, duh. To find out what happens when time-travellers meet the wrath of an ancient civilization, watch Planet of the Apes sometime. Plus, while Danny Elfman riffed the Jetsons theme to compose the famous Simpsons theme (two degrees), the Simpsons and the Flintstones are both based on the premise of "animated Honeymooners with kids" (one degree).
- Oxymoron - Oh man, I forgot my can opener
Although George will eventually get the rock back to his boss, Fred and family will ultimately have the last laugh.
Because, once Mr. Spacely sees just what an inexpensive, durable and fuel-efficient form of building material pure Bedrock granite is, he'll doubtlessly want to import MORE forms of prehistoric "technology".
Imagine it: Baby alligator wire cutters. Fire-breathing salamander welding torches. And real, LIVE computer "mice".
Then, Mr. Spacely is going to learn an important lesson: that, while modern technology, with its indecipherable instruction manuals, IC classes and tech jargon, can be frustrating as hell, at least it won't BITE YOUR ARM OFF.
Here's hoping Spacely Sprockets has a DAMN good HMO...
- RoboGoober Version 2 (reminding you that, if YOUR Weedwhacker happens to be a form of highly venomous Gila Monster, to please give it Prozac...)
While I am no fan of either team, this match will be won handily by Team Jetson. This is because they have two advantages.
First of all, the Jetsons possess very advanced technology. True, not all of it works that great, but that is besides the point. The Flintstones are stone-age primitives. When such people see any sort of technology that is beyond their ability to comprehend, especially if it is comprised of unfamiliar materials, they react in one of two ways. Either they stare in open mouthed amazement at it, unable to do much of anything, or they run away and hide (much like the Iraqi military).
Team Jetson also has a very deadly advantage on their side: Disease. Anyone who knows anything about the European exploration of the New World knows that when the Europeans made contact with the primitive natives, the natives caught Old World diseases that they had no resistance to and died in huge numbers. Since the Jetsons represent an advanced civilization and the Flintstones are primitive natives, guess who gets sick in a hurry.
The match will go as follows: The Jetsons arrive at the quarry. Team Flintstone will see them and immediately notice their advanced technology. Then, as the Flintstones are looking over the Jetsons, one of the Jetsons will sneeze. The result will be a plague that not only wipes out Fred and company, but about 75% of the population of Bedrock and eventually devastate their civilization.
The moral of the story: Don't mess with advanced civilizations.
- The Demented Astronomer
Oh, the temptation.
There is a clear literary parallel here. The mere mention of a 'time machine' brings to mind, of course, H.G. Wells' classic novel "The Time Machine" (and for all you hosers who think that watching the movie counts the same as reading the book, bugger off). In "The Time Machine", a conflict is depicted between two groups, the Eloi and the Morlocks. Let us briefly dissect the primary characteristics of these groups.
Eloi: Slight, slender. Have no real work to do. The mere prospect of physical labour defeats them, forcing them to have a nap in order to recover. They are unable to understand any of the machines that surround them.
Morlocks: Muscular, physically adept. Used to hard physical labour. Spend most of their days toiling in a large pit. Mechanically inclined; they understand the machines that surround them.
George is clearly an Eloi.
And what happens to the Eloi, you may ask? Well, once a month the Morlocks come up from the pit to pick an Eloi. They take him back below...and eat him. Fred's kind eats George's kind.
Dinner is served.
- Kapitšn der Armeen vom Norden
*Sigh* "Check out the Periodic Table of Elements: silicon is more advanced than carbon" Brendan. I stopped reading the comentary here. Time for a Chemistry lesson. (Funny I never thought I'd have to say that again!)
Anyhow while carbon is on the periodic table before silicon it doesn't mean that its less advanced, it just means that it has fewer protons, electrons and neutrons. So its simpler. But that doesn't mean thats its better. For example a simpler answer to a mathematical equation is better than a long winded one that eventually says the same thing. Secondly carbon and silicon both form a very similar arrangment under certain conditions, which I can't draw here, but its virtually identical, when silicon forms this arrangement its commonly called "black glass" when carbon forms this arrangement its called DIAMOND. Try grinding those two things together to see which is tougher!! Simply put YOU'RE A FREAKING MORON! And I'm voting against you just because you made me remember Chemistry.
The ignorance, oh the ignorance!!!!
- ~Disgruntaled Uni Student~
This match will go one way-that of Fred's Cocoa Pebbles and Fruity Pebbles. Barney Rubble has had years of experience practicing theft and trickery from thinking of creative ways to steal Fred's cereal, and always succeeding. All he has to do, is fake being Astro, then steal the time machine. Left stranded in the Stone Age, it will be a simple matter for the prehistoric family to flatten their opponents by means of Mr. Slates boulder-lifting dinosaur.
- The Masked Cow
This isn't a match between the Flintstones and the Jetsons... it's a match between who will vote for or against someone supported by the Great Gazoo.
I hated that little hemorrhoid. Jetsons it is.
- 32_Footsteps, the Eve of Destruction
As I look at that Flinstone family portrait, one phrase alone runs through my mind. "Holy mackeral! When the heck did Dino get so big?" Anyway, here (in typical cartoon sitcom fashion) is my bit:
After some wacky trash-talking banter (complete with mind-numbing laughtrack interspersed throughout), Fred and George engage in a ridiculously cartoony battle. Wilma, Pebbles and Dino sit around doing nothing (as is their wont). The Jetsons, being more loyal to their patriarch, consider helping, but then also just sit around doing stupid stuff. After a long sequence of increasingly stupid (yet hilarious) stunts between Fred and George, two cops just HAPPEN to walk by and see the people fighting in the quarry.
Cop 1: Daaaahhhh, gee, Shamus! Whaddaya shupose is goin' on ova' dere?
Cop 2: Hoo, faith an' begorrah! Looks like some ruffians causin' trouble over there, sure'n me boyo!
One scene transition later, the Flintstones and Jetsons are now in Bedrock Jail where they share a heartwarming moment about being sorry for fighting. They then have a short and silly conversation with the Rubbles (who are trying to bail them out). Then we see the quarry one more time. A blinding flash of light, and then...
Fry: (hopping around like an idiot) Look everyone! Real-life 20th Century rocks! (picks one up and literally bites into it, breaking several teeth) Jusht like momma ushed ta' make!
Dr. Zoidberg: Hey! Give Zoidberg some! (gobbles rocks)
Leela: Fry, you idiot! They're just rocks!
Prof. Farnsworth: Correction, Leela! They're actually rocks from the FIRST Century!
Amy: Professor! You sent us to the wrong time period again?
Prof. Farnsworth: It seems I did. Who are you? (smiles stupidly)
Hermes: (sigh) Look, let's just be goin', ya? We still got deliveries to make an' I'm tired o' lookin' at some stupid rocks...
Everyone mutters in agreement and starts to leave...
Bender: ... (looks around and stuffs a bunch of rocks in his chest cavity) Heh, heh, heh... Come to Bender, little pretties... You're all going to be thrown right through Johnny #5's windows...
Anyway, the Jetsons lose because they've got that stupid spring-monster Orbitty and I hate him. OOooOOooh how I hate him...
As we learned in the Simpsons, the Flintstones are just a rip-off of the "Honeymooners". That means that they've been going this whole time on material from a one-season show.
However, the Jetsons are simply a very lame ripoff of the Flintstones, and from what I've watched, they've been going the whole time on one joke: it's the future. OOH HOO HA HA HA! The Flintstones at least came up with some other standard sticom fare. The Jetsons will not be able to handle any humorous concept involving something other than the fact that the show is in a different time period, and thus they will have no idea what to do and will be defeated.
"Charge up the Krazy-Killin' Kannon, son!"
"Sure thing, Dad! Just let me reconfigure the (techno-babble) and attach the (techno-babble) to the (techno-babble). Then I'll be able to (techno-babble) the (techno-babble) and (techno-babble)!"
- Emmy the Homicidal Maniac (You can call me Mmy!)
All I know is that when one of these characters chases the other, you'll see the same background the whole time.
- Grudge-Pops: Everything I know I learned from Joe Cocker.
I was thisclose to voting for the flinstones out of sheer hate for that damn dog! When it suddenly hit me! Dinos purple.... and hes a dinosaur... this is an ancestor of barney! With that said we have the spawn of all evil in the world against a dog that makes rosie o'donell sound normal,then a twist! Along comes the flinstones other pet their ferocious, their vicious, their intimidating saber tooth tiger! "Come here Baby Puss!" Of all the names for a saber tooth tiger..... I voted for the jetsons out of hope that they will slaughter dino so the future of mankind can live in peace and harmony not worrying about kids growing up worshipping a dinosaur THAT ugly. If they should worship anyone it should be spongebob!
Anyone betting on a tech company right now has rocks in the head.
Hmm, what am I in the mood for today? Bad rock-related puns or bad space-related puns?
- Charge Man
Fred sits on a pile of stone, arm wrapped protectively around a box of cocoa pebbles. "Don't even think of coming over here and taking my rocks," he says threateningly.
The Jetsons, unsure whether beating the living daylights out of Fred will cause them to cease to exist, hold back. Until, Astro hears a rumbly in his tumbly and decides it's time for a snack. With a dash, a grab, and a "ranks, rumbass" Astro has the Pebbles! Fred tries uselessly to retrieve them, and finally decides to obtain the help of one craftier than him. "BARNEY! MY PEBBLES!" he shouts. "SOMEBODY STOLE MY COCOA PEBBLES!"
Barney is on the scene, cleverly disguised as Mr. Sprocket. "Have your dog hand 'em over George," he says sternly. Then, while George is babbling incoherently and trying to give the cereal back, Fred advances with a club. No fancified spaceman and his dog are going to steal his Pebbles and get away with it...
2 MINUTES LATER
Flintstones will beat the crap out of the jetsons. Why? because they parodied the sopranos. Anyone who parodies the mob and lives to tell about it has gotta be Mr. T level tough. Fred also is a psycho who has schizophrenia, everytime he has a blow to the head he changes his persona. therefore he'll change his plan of attack everytime george gets a lucky shot in and will confuse him by being a romantic gentleman one moment, the bastard son of Al Pachino and Robert DeNiro the next. These cavemen will discover fire just to cook those annoying kids and dog :)
If Fred can take a bowling ball to the head, he's just gonna laugh at anything George can throw at him.
- The OG
"My name's not Fred Flintstone, but I can still make your bed rock."
The Flintstones is responsible for one of the best cheesy pickup lines of all time. Number of cheesy The Jetsons pickup lines- zero.
I think we all know who wins this one.
- Thrillhouse- Got any raisins? How about a date?
This match is a nominee for the "Match We Most Knew Most Was Coming" Award.
- Steve Stone
The cartoon character with the best warcry wins. George doesn't even have one.
'Yabba-dabba-do" SET the standard.
Would The Jetsons even know what Rocks look like????
- Lord Wolf
You know, Rosie's kinda chubby for a robot...
And by Dave's own admission she's sassy...
That means that Rosie is a fat lady with sass! You can't beat a fat lady with sass (especially when beating her means the loss of her job)!
Stick a fork in the Flintstones, they're done.
- Jak the Duck (with sass)
Sticks and stones may break my bones....... but lasers disintigrate...
- Peter Tutham
Okay, an important factor in fights is the Theme Music(TM). Rocky wouldn't be nearly as tough without the Eye Of The Tiger to back him up and the Mission Impossible crew wouldn't be half as effective if they didn't have that snazzy BUM-bum, bum-bum-BUM-bum theme song either. Both theme songs here are pretty equal in the collness factor, but more importantly they dictate the fighting styles of the combatants.
The Flintstones' theme song flows and keeps moving, like Tai Chi (TM). Even if you don't remember all the words to it, you can keep singing anyway. Following their style, Betty will push Jane over and keep wrestling at her until Jane's either unconscious or cries for mercy.
The Jetsons' theme song starts, "Meet George Jetson," and then goes into a brief techo instrumental. I lose track of the music at this point. I think Jane comes next. Or Judy. Following this style, the Jetsons would fight using a clear turn-based format while trying to figure out what moves work best. After all, most of their day-to- day living is based on pushing different buttons, hoping to get lucky since I have yet to see any owner's manuals or labels on the buttons. A few years ago, Mr. Spacely even admitted on live TV (Cartoon Network) that he didn't even know what a sprocket is. Following their turn-based format, George kicks Fred in the groin and then waits for Fred to take his turn. Fred falls to the ground clutching his 'nads. As Fred painfully gets back to his feet, Mr. Jetson gamely waits his turn while contemplating his next move. This is not a winnable strategy here, folks.
Despite the Jetsons' insistance that the Flintstones are performing too many combat actions, the Flintstones are declared the winners.
- The Uncola Man
Well, I'm rooting for the Jetsons, but for a better analysis, here's a convo about the match I found on AIM. Enjoy :P
- Psycho Kirby
Are you kidding me? This one is not even close. Fred all the way! Think about hit. In order to get to work, he has to PICK UP HIS CAR and RUN WITH IT. Then he brings his car to a full stop with his FEET. The last time I saw anyone do that, it was on one of those strongman contests on ESPN with those 350 pound steroid laced vikings.
Look at them! George (scary name there) has had eons of evolution behind him. Eons of human civilization weeding out any need for survival genes such as superior strength and speed. No, George has the ability to collate and hit Ctrl-Alt-Del expressed in his chromosomes. George eats food pills, while fred dines on brontosaurus burgers. After work, George reclines in his deluxe-lux 3000, while Fred goes bowling with ACTUAL ROCKS. Fear the Fred. He is stronger than the lorax.
Fred does a judo-a judo-a chop chop chop on George before
- Budo, paleolithic survivor
This is my 1st time responding to the grudematch(TM), and I must say that I have to readily place my vote for the Flinstones. This is due to my discovery of the Simpleton Syndrome S.S(tm), and its grave applications for the Jetfumes in this match up. Bear with me while I not only elaborate, but explain to you why the Flinstones (tm) must and will be victorious
In my study, of many seeminly simpleton-ish cartoon characters, over many, many, wasted years apent aimlessly in front of the t.v, I have discovered something, not quite a blessing not qquite a curse, called the Simpleton Syndrome(tm). The gifts/symptoms are, near if not total invulnerability, the ability to escape from very impossible situations with little or no ease, the equally powerful ability to get oneself into the aforementioned situations in the 1st place, and finally, an almost mocking aversion to death. My fellow grudge- matchers, Fred Flinstone does not only have it, but all my accounts, work, and research seems to prove that it all started with him.
This man is not only the most bird-brained numbskull of his time (and maybe anytime for that matter...), but he alone brings new meaning to the word "Neandrathal". Tell me, who has taken more hits, scrapes, and stones to the head, who has put his life and the lives of his family in danger more times, who has had any better training for such an occassion (a ton and a half dinosaur ramming one in the chest at full speed, repeatedly over many years of shows and commercials, is enough practice for human and cartoon alike), who has faced that age old terror afectionately termed the mother-in-law, more times than Fred Flinstone??? The answer: no one, none at all, and just for good measure nobody.
The facts are simple and quite obvious:
1: Because Fred came 1st, he has not only invented the S.S(tm), but
by now has perfected it.
Bottom line, the Jetfumes are stuck in the past with little or no technology, up against a man who never needed it, and who is also possesed of the gift of almost God-like power that the Simpleton Syndrome(tm) brings with it. Not to mention his bad-assed family
No contest, in five minutes, Jane and Judy are all worried over some stupid girly thing like nails and sand in their hair, not noticing that Bambam has thrown Elroy into the next town for trying to talk to Pebbles, and therefore not caring that Astro is Dino brand dinosaur chow, or that Fred has stomped George flat with his dinosaur/tractor aminal-thingamajig.
In the end, nobody misses the Jetfumes, and Sproket, or whatever his name is, hires newer, better help. Meanwhile, life goes on in Bedrock (tm), until Fred, sometime in the future, inadvertantly kills off the dinosaurs!!!
- Dominican Psycho
Elroy flipped the switch to send back the victorious Jetson family back to their own time. They traded smiles, Judy hugged her father, as he patted his genius son on the head.
"Jetson!" came a voice from somewhere.
THE MORAL OF THE STORY: Muck with the past at your own peril! :)
- Dan McD.
Dave, are you trying to throw the match, comparing Gazoo to Q and invoking the Star Trek Must Lose clause? If you're going to take a dive, do it with more forthrightness, and class. Besides, the comparison fails, because even Q wouldn't be caught dead wearing antennae.
The course of this match is clear. The Flintstones is a 60's Hanna-Barbera cartoon, where, despite whatever gets thrown at the main characters, things work out okay in the end. Any reverses will exist simply to restore the status quo. Fred won't be out of his job at the end, and that's final.
But The Jetsons is also a 60's Hanna-Barbera cartoon, so George isn't going to fail miserably, get fired, and have his pauperized family thrown out onto, er, whatever the equivalent of "the street" is for a futuristic society with cities that are just screaming "Rip me off in The Empire Strikes Back!" He has to come out all right, too.
But this is Grudge Match. Someone has to win. The solution is simple.
Fred and company manage to repulse the Jetsons from the quarry, using a lot of animals trained to perform suspiciously like futuristic gadgets. (I'm dying to see what a prehistoric Segway looks like.) George and company slink away in defeat, until they realize that they don't need a quarry to find rock in this era. Everything is made of rock! Heck, the junkyards are filled with nothing but rock! They get what they need and scoot back to futurity with only their egos slightly bruised.
Victory to the Flintstones, but status quo for everybody.
- Call me Shane
George has come prepared with the most powerful weapon in the Spacely arsenal, an EMPulse gun. One shot will wipe out all the enemy's electronics. Unfortunately for George, electricity won't be invented for several million years.
Have you ever seen a guy time travel to the time of the dinosaurs and have things end well for him?
- ex agent
Next Match: All the way to the F-B-I.
Next Match: All the way to the F-B-I.
© 2003, Dragon Hamster Productions, LLC