World Wide Web Fights presents
WWWF GRUDGE MATCH
[The commentary to this match was lost to an accidental overdose of gamma radiation. Sorry.]
A Recap of the Event
(If you missed it)
The Terminator and
the Predator battling to the death along the skyline of New York City.
Any (and only) handheld weapons are allowed. Since the Terminator must keep
his computer brain, the Predator can keep his cloaking device. Killing of
innocent women and children will not earn either participant extra
points, but it is encouraged. Self-destructing to avoid the loss is not
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STEVE: Just a note to those of you who voted for Predator: Where is
your feedback? The feedback was overwhelmingly in favor of Terminator, but the
voting is much closer. This is America! Make yourself heard!
Also, many of you have been asking about improving the voting system. We're
working on it (But not too hard).
That is all.
First of all thanks for giving me another way to exercise my brain
other than work. Sitting here Monday morning ignoring my work and
instead pitting the awesome firepower of the Predator vs. the
awesome stamina and bad haircut of the original Terminator really
makes my day.
Gotta give the win to the Terminator. With all his high tec
hoo haas surely the cloaking device of the Predator is rendered
mostly useless. And the Terminator will surely bring into
use all the weapons inherant in the urban environment whereas
the Predator will be overcome by the city.
Now how about Terminator vs. that guy from I Come in Peace....
I think everyone is overlooking a big factor in this battle: the sanitation department. Now, if the Predator kills a guy, he
always takes the skulls and sticks them on his little belt, right? On the other
hand, Terminators don't pick up after themselves, sometimes purposely
crushing the skulls...do you have any idea how hard skull is to clean
up? Just ask Jules Winfield some time.
Anyway, the combined might of the Sanitation department will rally behind
the cleanliness of the Predator to take down the Terminator. The end.
Of course, that's until Gamera Space Monster teaches everyone a lesson.
It needs to be remembered that in "the terminator", the terninator was
finally killed after being blown in half by a pipe bomb, at which point
his better half (the upper one) crawled after sarah conner and was killed
by being crushed in a hydrolic press activated by conner. In that last
scene the terninator's hand was stopped scant incheds from conner's
throat. Also, remember the final bits of T2...termie was mangled,
crushed, and finally opened like a can...and he still returned to save
the day. Further, it would be unfair to the terminator to even consider
that the terminator wouldn't know to kill the perdator...I would think
that he would be programmed with a target, otherwise there's no fight.
To be fair, you might as well not tell the predator who to kill.
The preadator is an organic being which, if it did lose it's lower half,
or was opened up with a can opener, would die from the loss of vital
fluids. The terminator is definatly the tougher of the two, and a plasma
cannon or a shotgun and AK47 in the hands of the terminator is every bit
as good as the preadator's weaponry.
yours truly, and a little saddened that he was dragged into such an
The Terminator would win for one simple reason: his wacky dialogue.
While Termie throws a crazy line like, "I'm going to kill you now,"
the Predator, who amounts to little more than a few well-placed grunts
and growls anyway, would still be searching for a witty rejoinder, when,
whadda ya know, the Terminator does indeed kill him. Once again, great
writing saves the day.
It's obvious the Terminator would win. He can blend in with the crowds,
whereas the Predator would have to be cloaked all the time. That could get
tiring. Besides, the Predator would have to find a hydrolic press to squeeze the
cybernetic juice out of Term's head. All Arnie has to do is pull a shotgun from a
box of roses and blow his alien butt back to where it came from. The Terminator
feels no pain and wins hands down.
A battle bound for greatness, promises this war of
individual conquest, and as history, and our dire
need to watch cable reruns has proven time and
time again.... it will all come down to the hand
to hand struggle in the end. Sure Predator has
brought over with him in his high flying planet
jumper, a choice collection of the universes finest
weopons. And Termie will no doubt have display the
tactical savvy in acquiring a formidable quiver
of US issue ordinance....
Undoubtedly, it will all come down to a hand to
hand, fist to slimy fist street brawl. And if you're
a betting person, keep in mind that tempered
steel will slice through scaley reptile flesh
like a hot knife through butter, like a piano
string through tofu, or like a arab terrorist
through US customs. Terminator dominance supreme.
Assuming that the Predator even shows up on Earth after his pathetic
showing against Danny Glover, its pretty obvious that the Terminator will
make dog meat out of the Predator. Ole Pred Head coudn't beat Arnie
without his super indestructable alloy body, and against the terminator
robotic body enhanced Arnie, the Predator won't last long. True, the
termie was killed by regular humans in the first movie, but Sarah Connor
was helped by none other than super space marine Hicks, the only marine
to survive an encounter with the aliens. My prediction: terminator covers
himself in Crisco, thus rendering himself invisible to the Predator,
before pummeling him to death with a truck load of Predator merchandise
that never sold.
-Hassan Ali Hammy Salammy
By 3:30, the Predator is spouting green-glowing blood like a old
man after a barium enema. Leaving a trail everywhere he limps, the
Terminator will have no trouble whatsoever catching up to him.
Total Kill and destruction is a factor of how many gas trucks are in the area and
how many national guardsmen are brought in before predator hits the dirt. I estimate 5 billion
dead (Clinton and Yeltsin go nuts, MAD is finally played out) leaving only Mad Max and a
bunch of Aussies duking it out.
You left out some critical information which I need to be able to
make my decision. Where (and when) is Linda Hamilton when this battle is
taking place? Obviously, she would be the deciding factor in any outcome
involving these participants - but who's side would she be on.
Pre T2 era:
Linda takes out Terminator in a frenzied romp accross the
city, culminating in a downtown Micky D's where T is exposed to
alternate cold/heat treatments chasing Linda in circles through
the freezers and cooking areas; ultimately getting caught in the
hamburger patty maker - not a pretty sight.
Meanwhile, Predator watches the action from above. At Linda's
moment of victory, Predator takes her out from a distance with a vile,
cowardly hi-tech missile projectile - leaving a bad taste in
everyone's mouth (except the lucky few in the restaurant who were
recovering from a Big Mac Attack).
Post T2 era:
In a desperate struggle, it appeared Predator had won. Terminator
was chopped to pieces, except for half an arm, shoulder, head intact
(eyes gone, but hair in place and quite studdly). Linda was down but
not out. She was playing dead. Predator was making triumphant victory
squeals, as he was licking Linda's face to make sure she was dead.
Then, to his dismay, she grabbed P, screamed, and held him long enough
for T to crawl over and get a mouth-hold on Predator's neck. There
followed a sight which would delight Pit Bull owners the world over.
Predator could not shake him loose, and it was over in seconds.
But in a misguided effort to keep this confrontation from happening again
in the future, Linda destroyed all the evidence by taking a weapon from
P and nuked the place from a block away - "Just to be sure". I know you
said that this was not allowed, but hey - this is the real world and
you don't always get what you wish for.
By the way, Danny Glover never took part in any of the confrontation. The
word was that he was sitting on the toilet the whole time.
[The creators of WWWF Grudge match reserve the right to
completely exclude these fantasy match-ups from the real world.
Any who suggest otherwise will be taken care of. We won't be hearing
from John again. - Ed]
The Predator is a wimp... (again, I quote)
Predator: Ouch, yowzers, screeeeech!
(and all this because of fluorescent KY jelly? Please!)
So, the Terminator takes him down by lunch.
(Except that I too have too much free time!)
I believe that an overlooked anatomical differance will certainly tilt
the advantage in favor of the Terminator: Predator's hair things. It is
obvious that the Terminator would be much stronger than any of
Predator's previous opponents. I see Term.grabbing hold of these long,
hair/tentacle things and it's over for the Predator since his/her hair is
probably also his/her genitalia.
Final carnage count:
1 dead Predator
3,629,417 innocent bystanders killed (because they were too stupid to stay away)
283 tall buildings laid to waste
356 dead police officers (who tried to keep the crowds at a safe distance)
2100 military personnel dead
254 military vehicles wrecked beyond repair
17 New York City buses damaged
3 subway trains derailed
Unfortunately, that stupid pink rabbit survives the ordeal
If you liked this match, check out these other past
Ellen Ripley v. Sarah Connor
Waldo v. Carmen Sandiego (featuring the T-1000)
Boba Fett v. The Predator
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