Steve, there is only one logical choice for this one, the A-team. Anyone who has watched both of these competitors in action will certainly agree with me. First, the A-team has worked together for decades starting with a tour in Vietnam. Just take a look at the members of this crack mercenary unit: a consumate aviator, a diplomat of sorts, a top-rate mechanic/driver, and a leader who thrives on "plans coming together" and is a master of disguise. I ask you, Steve, how can MacGyver compete with such an organization? Remember, the A-team is not scared to use guns like your boy MacGyver. How is ole' Pete going to help MacGyver? Historically, all Pete is good for is getting MacGyver into jams, not getting him out.
I'm sorry, but the science fair antics of the man with one name are no match for Hannibal and company.
STEVE: Sam, you forget two vital points in your flawed argument. First of all, the A-Team's opponent is always some gang of gun toting local boys who think they are running the show. The A-Team doesn't know how to fight someone who actually has any intelligence. Granted, when they're fighting their typical opponent, they are unbeatable. But MacGyver has skill and cunning. He won't fall for the A-Team's standard tricks. Which brings me to my second point.
MacGyver already knows what the A-Team is going to construct. Anyone who has watched the A-Team more than once knows what they are going to construct. MacGyver will be ready for their armor-plated school bus / tractor. MacGyver's far superior intelligence will allow him to build a high-powered laser which will make swiss cheese out of their dumpy tank. MacGyver will also use some pinecones to make landmines (I've actually seen this on MacGyver) to further pummel the A-Team into submission.
After less than a minute of fighting, the A-Team will emerge worn and battered from their makeshift vehicle. Hannibal himself will be waving the white flag of surrender.
SAM: Steve, I never claimed that the A-team was not predictable. Hey, you go with your strengths, wouldn't you? If you get results with slow moving, armor-plated vehicles, then so be it. I want to stress two things: (1) The A-team, and I stress TEAM, gets results. Hey, they make things happen. (2) MacGyver is timid and weak, with no rage. I would just like to see him try to allude the adament Col. Decker like my boys, the A-team. In a couple of days MacGyver would be in a federal prison, trying to figure out a clever, yet safe, way of picking up the bar of soap that he dropped.
So you want a scenario? After much contemplation, this is the most probable sequence. First of all, I'll give you the pinecone landmine, but not the laser. Ok, the A-team will indeed construct a armor-plated tractor, no arguements there. But you, nor MacGyver, is suspecting a two prong attack. Let me explain. Any military leader, such as Hannibal, knows not to put all there eggs in one basket. The Faceman will be in charge of procuring a local crop duster's airplane. How will he do this? Simple, he will flirt with the healthy-looking, Daisy Duke-like farmer's daughter before the contest. The plane will no doubt be there in the morning, awaiting B.A.'s modifications and Murdock's skilled hands. Everyone knows that the Faceman can do the impossible, hell the man drives a Corvette and lives for free! The battle will be hard fought, but MacGyver will be knocked out cold for several months from an explosion blast he encountered trying to save the bumbling Pete. Nobody will die, thats a given.
Smoke a cigar and jump in the van, Hannibal, the plan has come together.
Steve, MacGyver has his place, but its teaching high school chemistry, not in a death match with professionals like the A-team. Maybe MacGyver should be helping Julia Childs in her kitchen. As for Pete, he was last seen in a canoe entering the "Deliverance Zone".
STEVE: I have only one question for you. What good is a plane going to be if no one is flying it? The entire A-Team is locked up in the barn, remember? Even if Face somehow manages to get a plane, by the time Murdock starts it and gets it aloft, the battle will already have been lost. That is, assuming he even gets a chance to get the engine running.
And, as far as lasers are concerned, I can think of two episodes just off the top of my head where MacGyver constructs a laser. You underestimate MacGyver, just as the A-Team is going to do. I daresay MacGyver could defeat the A-Team with some chewing gum and tinfoil. The A-Team will be praying for Col. Decker's prison soap when this match is through.
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The A-Team will fabricate their typical armored vehicle and will blast out of the barn with guns blazing. Since the A-Team never actually killed any of the bad guys, this leads me to believe that they are really lousy shots; heck, I'd be willing to wager that they couldn't even hit the broad side of Roseanne Barr. There is one more component that will seal the A-Team's fate: Mr.T won't be focused. B.A. Barakas will be thinking about how he will defraud Don King of all the pay-per-view profits from the televised rematch with Mr. Clean.
Meanwhile, MacGyver will construct a simple, yet rugged means of transport that is powered using a solar cell and an electric egg beater that is able to attain a top speed of 137mph, despite the skies being overcast. Pete will simply be snoozing in the hay, since MacGyver politely told him that he was a liability and not an asset. MacGyver will load up on pinecone and chewing gum grenades, heat-seeking sparrow-tipped arrows, and hollow-tip bullets made by melting down the rusting Chevy Duster that was in the barn.
The battle begins with the A-Team barelling out of their barn and MacGyver driving a sensible 30mph towards the onrushing, bullet-spewing, armored "bus of death". To protect himself, MacGyver has attached suspenders to Pete and is using him as a human shield (Pete doesn't die, the A-Team are lousy shots; I already said that). Just as MacGyver starts laying down tracer fire, B.A. mistakes a hedge for Don King and makes a violent turn towards the hedge in an effort to eliminate "vertical hair man". The entire A-Team realizes too late that they are about to dive into a canyon a-la-Thelma-and-Louise. Hannibal and his men die in a fiery explosion at the bottom of the canyon with MacGyver looking from above and saying something witty like: "You should have turned right."
MacGyver in less than 3 minutes. Look for the sequel on ABC this fall.
While both the A-Team and MacGyver are in their Barns working on their implements of destruction, MacGyver will build one more tool, a cellular telephone, and contact Col. Decker. This will give a sufficiently narrow (yet guaranteed) margin of victory to satisfy the MacGyver plot device criteria.
The A-team are focused, focused on the total destruction of MacGyver! Sure they will probably construct some big combine/tank vehicle. But more importantly, the will have guns. The combine will come rolling out of the barn, with guns blazing. Of course, no one gets shot in either the A-team or MacGyver universes. So B.A. will have to punch out MacGyver. "I pity the fool that lock us in that barn!"
The A-team is toast.
1) No weapon that Mac can devise in half a day could possibly penetrate Mr. T's gold plated-armor (oh. It's jewelry? Same diff.), or his thick skull. Any laser (provided that Mac can put one together) would be harmlessly deflected by Mr. T's gold protected chest (not to mention sunny disposition.)
2) The A-Team is apparently nigh-invulnerable to ranged attacks of any kind. In the 5 years that they were on TV, they were hit by bullets a grand total of ONCE (must have contained Krytonite or something)! (Mr. T took it in the shoulder as I recall.) Anyway, the various local yokels of the world have attempted to exterminate the A-Team at close range with automatic and semi-automatic weaponry many times. They can't even hit them. What makes Mac think he can?? On the other hand, Mac got beat up pretty badly on more than one occasion. And, since Mac can't hit these guys at range, what's he going to do, try hand to hand? (I pity the fool.)
3) Pete?! Pete????! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
4) A-Team was produced by Stephen J. Cannel. (sp?) Mac was produced by Fonzie, who, you might remember, was defeated in a grudge match by Mork. Since we know that Mork is no match for The A-Team, we must suspect that Fonzie is not either, nor are any of his creations.
So, the A-Team Wins!!
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